Gonzo the Cheekun (reposting)

TerrBear:  There was once a depressed raccoon named Wally.

Capt. Backfire:  Wait that doesn’t sound like a gut-retching tale of humor.

TerrBear has lost her mind and sense of humor.

Anyway, there was once a chicken named Gonzo.  He was chicken on Pervis’ ranch, and the only reason Gonzo never met the fate of Bleu Cow was that he had a very special talent.  He was a rodeo star, the one and only bull riding chicken. 

Cowboy Yem had heard of Gonzo’s fame and had attempted to train his chickens to do the same thing.  Unfortunately, Yem’s talent’s were all relegated to dealing with cowz and mooses; and they were never able to stay on for .8 seconds, let alone the required 8 seconds.  In the meantime, he was still quite upset over Pervis killing his prized cow Redd; and wanted revenge. 

The championship rodeo was coming up, and while Gonzo was ready, Yem was still beside himself as what to do to get back at Pervis.  The day of the rodeo came and after drinking his 11th Moxie (a complete Yemmasee dozen) he was starting to get hyper and antsy.  He ended up calling the last person he thought he’d be calling because he was so desperate:  Dr. Yemoppoburrito, the illegitimate love child he had with Jay.  Dr. Yemoppoburrito had connections to illegal livestock supplements, and Yem decided to plant some chicky steroids on Gonzo.

Unfortunately, Yem didn’t realize that Gonzo was a smart chicken.  Also now that he had canned Bonko, Bonko had to find work at rodeos.  So Gonzo injected Bonko with the steroids.  Bonko ended up going crazy and went Ozzy on Yem’s prize chicken Thelma.  It was the best fried chicken Yem ever had.

Moral of the story:  Make sure that your chicken steroids are the kind that won’t make clowns disgruntled.

Note:  Gonzo went on to win the championship, Bonko went into rehab, and Yem went back to plot his next move.  Dun dun dun.