Determined Heart

I was just like any child;
I grew up giggling and bouncing along
with joy and hope running over
like a bubbling brook.
In diapers I held my arms high for hugs,
for protection from too many falls.
Someone was usually there;
maybe not always the same someone,
but someone.
I have learned lots of words,
and 'they' say I am special and bright
like the twinkling star
in our song sang at night.
But the more words I've learned,
the more I know now that...

I am not like every other child.
I am what 'they' call an orphan.
That's why the same someone was never around.
So I look to the future and into your heart with fear
that I will be the only same someone in my life, ever.
I seek longingly through wide open eyes
at all around me
silently wondering
What can I do
to make it all right,
to make me acceptable,
to hold One Love in my life
that won't go away
when it's time to go home,
or to change jobs,
or find a new family
for themself?

I will figure this all out
doing my best
to be The best
so That Someone will love Me.
I Am determined,
and it hurts.