Everyone said it was abandonment.
The front steps held him.
Concrete doesn’t talk.
She had taken his breath.
Told him he held her heart.
The train station echoed
long after the siding
was empty.
He couldn’t get her out . . .
The heart beats chugged.
He knew.
Everyone said it was abandonment.
In a list
A contest entry
- PIF Quickie 10/50/30 by poet2angels.
475 points, ended September 2, 2007, 8 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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Well I see you have exuberantly captured the essence of the brokenheart. The pain and sadness of life and its ups & downs. When we must turn the other cheek so to speak, its truly a feeling of abandonment. My talented friend you do this type of poetic masterpieces so dam well........write on..novy
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Earlier in my life, before I learned how we participate in creating our own pain I walked these shadows. Some of the darker lights still haunt when I turn the lights down low. Perhaps all is not lost since it is everyone else who speaks to the abandonment.
Love, Tom B.
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hmmm... sad.
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Yes and No. Read my comments.
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sigh this leaves one to feel the sadness as he watched her leave, sigh very deep in feeling,
congratulations on your award,
Warm thoughts
Frozentearz -
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Thanks. Glad you enjoyed my little vingette. Don't write this way, often, anymore.
Love, Tom B.
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beautiful... brought tears to my
eyes... lovely sentiments... strongly and gently expressed... like being touched delicately with a forceful hand... difficult to describe... interesting combination of emotions created within me... beautiful and saddening imagery... a very stoic approach/view, as always, nothing hopeless... I thinks it the "abandonment" it evokes an unrequited feel... wonderful flow to this piece...
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We have the worlds view and we have his. His misses her, he loves her, he believes she shall return simply because of the connection and the love. Whose right? Time will tell. Thanks for enjoying my little story poem. Don't write these often. Love, Tom B.
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I feel as though you have left me hanging
The love is there yet she is leaveing, but the twist~She had taken his breath. Told him he held her heart..the heart chugged...He knew! Everyone said it was abandonment...Well I dont bekieve it! Their love still stands, others just dont know
WoW! you are good Master Poet!
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Maybe yes, maybe no. He holds as true, as much as he misses her it shall all work out. The world has no such faith.
Love, Tom B.
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So many times love seems to be taken away just when you least expect it to, some have glib tongues and maybe you only hear what you need at the time, but then it passes and we finally see the truth. Love, C
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I always figure that Love will win out. Not desire, not lust, not if I love him/her they will love me back. Love will win out. Sometimes it just appears to the world to be the way they read the evidence. Clues lead us to the truth, they are not proof. Love, Tom B.
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WOW!!!!
Such irony and emotion in every line. I love the imagery and language used to express the emotion in this piece....WOW...
lol trying to switch it up and fool me, huh? LOL
Love it!
Lynda
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So you know it is me. Only you. Yeah, there is a promise and an illusion dieing. We often must give up the dream to discover the truth and the truth often turns out in the end to lead us on a better path. Love, Tom B.
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ooo such a sad heart filled write my dear friend - loneliness is dreadful all too often besy wishes always xxx
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I don't know if it is abandonment. Maybe he knows she is coming back. Maybe he knows that it just wouldn't work. Maybe they have stuff to clean up. The evidence is not all in as yet. Love, Tom B.
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many wishes always and hope things work out ~ much luv and friendship, Eilene
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prompt is:
"eyes glazed, heart heavy"
or
the picture above
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