Quiet is the man;
sitting on the sun stained old deck.
Eyes covered with an irreversible age.
Gently he rocks;
Backward then Forward again.
Passing children stop;
staring with a sense of humor.
plotting innocent fun upon the old creature.
laughter grows;
gathering supporters to watch the show.
Starts out simply;
gum in the door, locking him out.
but the man continues to stare out at the street
gently he rocks;
Backward then Forward again.
Tricks pass, years later;
violence is soon the intention on the man.
they crowd with bats, clubs, tools.
quiet he sits awaiting;
The amusement as his expense.
Quiet is the man;
heart rate slowing as he sits
on the sun stained old deck.
eyes covered;
with irreversible age.
Down the rocking chair;
drips the life of this man
nothing left to live for.
pain subtle;
fading as things go numb
A soft grin climbs;
the lips of the old man, cruel was the world
these kids will never learn of the man
of the stories;
of this war hero.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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This really does capture what is wrong with humanity as a species. Lack of respect. Not willing to listen or to learn. To investigate and nourish ourselves with the rich tales of others.
However, as ever with good pieces, it makes me think and a "devil's advocate" thought springs to mind. One man's "war hero" is another man's "murderer", depending on what side of the fence you were on in any given war. Therefore, even this old hero is victim of a cycle that he himself was guilty of being a party to in his youth.
Good write. Thought provoking.
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very true. I see your point, and I agree.
but I'm not saying he's a hero for fighting.
it's more that he's a hero for the things he's learned.
the things he was never given a chance to teach.
thank you for the feedback
:]
much appreciated.
|aiko| -
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I have to very much agree with that.
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This is great!! I love how you transformed the seemingly normal old man from across the street to a War Hero that had to die for the youngs amusement. The stories touch was great too!!
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thanks!
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wow that was really good. You made it seem as though he was just a man, the nutter from across the street, and then, when it's too late, you reveal that he had so many stories locked away inside of him, and I bet all they had to was ask.
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yeah, thank you!
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Quiet is the man
i think this line was the whole poem, lol i liked it, i mean you did a great job and this was such a strong and moving poem, keep it flowing
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Thank you, a whole lot for commenting my stuff.
i really really appreciate it.
and i look forward to your feed back :]
<3
|aiko|
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