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Morning Ritual Contrast


Alarm clock blares…
life awaits-

life, life, must get ready for life…
work, work, there is a mountain of work…

Oh, why did I hit the snooze button so many times?
What was I thinking…
always follow your plan of the night before…

Rush, rush, nerves exploding
splitter, splatter about the room
spraying in prismed directions little supernovaic bursts of AWAKE

Today is the day…
very important meeting…
my heart pumping ALL of my adrenaline now…
into cold shower, barely time to shave,
nightmares of the oncoming stresses…

Stresses, stresses, where are my socks…
where did I place my priorities?

Bless her, everything laid out-
socks, shirt, tie, boxers, pants, suit, cell, shoes…
take the stairs…
three steps at a time…

Where is she, anyway? She is always one step ahead of me,
and yet… [I freeze in wonder]

ah, there she is, a sea of tranquility…
lost in a beautiful world of introspection and contemplation…



moments... quiet reflection
holding on to a sweet dream
until it evaporates
with the mist of my tea...

I stir the little cauldron clockwise,
tap the rim lightly with silver spoon
to banish the night's cobwebs
and conjure coming images of the day...

I breathe in the passing steam
enjoy warmth
on face and in hands...

A timid sip, rolling across my tongue
the first swallow a hot, sweet liquid hug...



make mental note- spend time in her tranquility tonight…
where is my to-do list, I must schedule it…
where did I put my pen…

Coffee, toast. must thank her someday,
maybe a poem, I know she likes poems,


“Thank you, dear,
coffee and toast.
It means the most.
It really does.
I think of you, because
your are the light
every day
and even through the night…
 
I wish to God I was with her more...


I pause,
the most precious of moments…
How can I tell her?
Oh yes, the poem…

Coffee, gone in one gulp,
toast, disappeared in two bites…

“Thanks sweetie, I love you. (kiss).
Bye.”

Out the door, to the car, must fight traffic,
get there early, much to prepare…

...a twinge of guilt
my own contemplation-
why do I work, if not for her,
yet we are always apart…

I said ‘I love you’.
I should have added, ‘so much…’

I want to drive back...
















tranquil segment: Morning Ritual by Luna Tique Fringe

Author notes

I read her poem, I noticed a contrast...

Contrasts:

mood - tranquil (her) hectic (me)
writing style - metaphorical (her) non-metaphorical (me)
focus - the 'moment' (her) the 'story' (me)
mental focus - introspective (her) extrospective (me)
emotionally - reserved (her) charged (me)

on a deeper level there is
what the guy feels (he loves her deeply) vs. his behavior (he's hardly able to show it)

gender - girl (her) guy (me)

mystical - Sagittarius (her) Virgo (me)

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 24 of 24
  • tara wilson gold member
    September 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very, very cool, I love the contrast here, what a great idea, I love Luna's work and you have made these opposites work together well in a poem...this is excellent, good luck!


  • Random Goldfish gold member
    September 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "I stir the little cauldron clockwise
    tap the rim lightly with a silver spoon
    banishing the nights cobwebs
    conjuring images of the day"

    Yay, the imagery makes me smile. ^_^

    I sprint all over the house the entire morning just to make sure I get my tea...because if I don't have enough time for my tea I feel like fist fighting the world all day long.

    Good luck in this contest...now...to the contrast poem!




    • wbiro gold member
      September 3, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      and may your cobwebs be banished this day, too (and your violin be free of them...)

  • cjc
    September 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Forgot the applause. Absolutely want to include it.

  • cjc
    September 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Enjoyed the contrast.

    Good write, excellent imagery. Enjoyed it, made me rush along with you.


    • wbiro gold member
      September 3, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      I was worried the 'rush' wasn't working... thanks greatly for the comment; now to work on the emotion...!

    • wbiro gold member
      September 3, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thanks for the comment, good to know the 'rush' was effective... though it took a few metaphors- that which I was supposed to be avoiding...!


  • SexyAngel0418
    September 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    awesome contrast poems!!! You did a great job on this one!!! I really enjoyed it!!! Keep up the great work!!!

    Hugs,
    Beth

    PS Good luck in the contest!!!


  • Billythekid
    September 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Ah the morning ritual. There isn't enough hours in the day to accomplish everything. I think we all need to slow down a bit and take more time to show those whom we love exactly how much we love them.
    This is very well written, I don't think I've ever seen sponge bob an Rolex used in the same line before

    • wbiro gold member
      September 3, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thanks for another comment, I gotta stop by... and yes, it takes a special type of personality to brave Sponge Bob with Rolex... (now all I need is a Rolex...)


  • quantumsurveyor
    September 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    As I read this, the early verses reminded me (honestly I have to tell you) of the Janet and John school primers!(John, John, come and see.) The images are clear and the truth shines from the page. Thank you.

    • wbiro gold member
      September 3, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      now my primers were 'Dick and Jane' with Sally the little sister and Spot the dog... 'See Dick run. Run run run. See Sally fall. Wah wah wah...' of course, when I was on that, the girl down the street in the same grade was reading Herman Melville already...


  • Mrs. Mautino
    September 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Interesting. Your inspirations are quite different from others (Spongebob boxers ). And normally, I find that if your inspirations are somewhat "joke" like, the poem doesn't turn out well. But your case is quite different. I liked it very much Excellent job and good luck in the contest!

    • wbiro gold member
      September 3, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      I do have an answer concerning the 'joke' issue- the answer is in layers... and thanks for your thoughts... I find thoughts stimulating for some odd reason...!


  • Arizona Sunset
    September 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I love spongebob! Wonderfully worded, I am very impressed! Beautiful flow, and imagery! It seemed very rushed, and slowly the tone was tender! Thank you for sharing your fantastic poem!

    • wbiro gold member
      September 3, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thanks for the comment, good to know the 'rush' is finally effective; I saw your name before- and if it is literal, seems like good therapy...!


  • dubiety
    September 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    this is so amusing and

    easy to read, I was gripped and I love the long, multiple full stops prose in here, like a journal? Adding what you think, the lines just blur into one account and I loved this poem/. A bit similar to what I wrote in 'tea for-' where I commented on the cup of tea etc. (That was not a promo. I swear.)
    Great write, engaging and amusing, keep writing! -blackburn

    • wbiro gold member
      September 3, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      promo promo! can't resist a promo- especially one wrapped in mystery... lol (all I have to go on is 'tea for-'... donning my Sherlock hat to investigate...)


  • ellipsist
    September 2, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    very intriguing... the collaboration

    works well... coffee - a very inspiring subject recently, obviously...


    • wbiro gold member
      September 3, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thanks, intriguing... hmmm... very intriguing, your intriguing...


  • ever so slightly
    September 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "

    I stir the little cauldron clockwise
    tap the rim lightly with a silver spoon
    banishing the nights cobwebs
    conjuring images of the day

    I breathe the steam
    enjoying the warmth
    on my face and in my hands

    First timid sip, rolling across my tongue
    the first swallow
    a hot, sweet liquid hug"


    Oh wow. My FAVORITE part. I love the imagery.

    • wbiro gold member
      September 3, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      and... besides hectic/tranquil, your comment brought to light several other contrasts (which I added to my author's comments) thanks again...


    • wbiro gold member
      September 3, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thanks, I see you prefer the quiet to the hectic, too...!


  • misticmoonlite gold member
    September 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Now to start the day out,feeling rushed,or to set the alarm an hour earlier,then you can sit,relax and of course express your love ,more lovingly,slowly is much easier,lol nice expressed poem,thanks for sharing,SH

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