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So Long, Aryan Bride

I am my father's pride and joy.
Blond and blue-eyed,
perfection in my genes.
I will make the perfect Aryan bride.

Father flaunts my perfection,
for all the Jews to see.
There would be no objection,
except from a man about six-foot three.

My temper boiled,
but then settled. You see.
the man who protested
was as stunning as could be.

He had lived through months of hell,
but still he seemed so perfect.
At first sight, I was caught in his spell..
And I found no words to object.

The guards rushed to him,
he'd be beat for insulting me.
I wanted to cry,
but how can this be?

Night was now about,
and I had slipped out.
in search of the defiant man.
It'd be easy no doubt.

I secretly drew him away,
to where I had my say.
but he had no interest in me.
I was a Nazi bitch all the way.

Each night I would go to him,
pleading he give me a chance.
I'd save him and his family
just to have this dance.

I was in love,
simple as can be.
Despite the shame it would bring,
the only man I wanted was he.

Another month went by,
we danced under the moon.
on that summer's night
in early June.

My father grew suspicious,
as I began to reject suitor's calls.
With instant fear of treachery,
I was banned from leaving the commandant building's walls.

Each night I watched him,
sneak to our spot.
Waiting and waiting for me.
I just prayed he wouldn't be caught.

One night he had dropped to the ground,
and I swore he had cried.
His feelings for me,
he could no longer hide.

I could be confined no more,
I had to get to him.
I slipped out my window
to make that cross over the yard again.

As I came up towards him,
he met me with such an embrace.
As we shared that first kiss,
there was no more concern of race.

We made our plan to run away
The plan was set.
And we planned to meet
from the place where we had met.

So as I slipped out along the wall,
I made my way with care.
But when I peeked towards our spot,
my man stood with my father there.

My heart froze stopped mid-beat,
as I watched him draw his gun.
I ran towards him, screaming "NO!"
but it was already done.

He laid there in the mud,
and I ran to his side.
But it was already too late.
He had already died.

I looked to my father,
his face was filled with disgust.
Into my gut,
the end of his knife was thrust.

As I fell back,
I collapsed at my lover's side.
"I told you I loved you.
I meant it till the day I died."

Author notes

Random poem inspired by a contest description. Enjoy.

A contest entry

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Comments


  • aeolia
    November 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    It's an interesting subject and poem, I'll give you that. You've got a great concept, but I think your form hindered this a lot. Meaning, your flow was shaky due to being forced to rhyme, and the words you often chose didn't feel like they would have belonged otherwise.

    It's a great idea. I honestly think that. This poem just needs a bit of work, as most do. Pick up a book about metre and form; there are bound to be books on the mechanics of poetry in your local library, and I'm sure there are some good ones online. They can explain what I mean better than I can; I'm not a rhyming poet and thus will be of no use to you in this regard.

    Thanks for the entry & good luck!

    Peace,
    Cristina


  • WisdomWarrior
    September 4, 2007

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    This was a great story style poem. Wonderful message. In death he actually saved her soul. That kind of love conquers all darkness.

    Your flow was a little rough at times. It is very difficult to keep the theme and the flow at the same time. It is often easier for me to get the idea out as it comes and then go back later and edit, change, and shift things around.

    Thanks for sharing this.

    One Love,

    John


  • Ignis Corpus
    September 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow this is a really good poem thought i thought it wouldnt like it i did, it kept my attention and kept me wanting more, I loved this good job and keep up the work and i wish you the best of luck in this contest