Blue rose

I can feel the moist-
in your constricted life.

Rain captured-
your innocent,
and blued persona.

Eyes lay upon,
and realize that the rain
didn't do anything.

I can now see it was your tears.
I am sorry.

Author notes

Written September 2, 2007

A contest entry

PIF [quickie] by layla.. 300 points, ended September 2, 2007, 8 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest

Please tell me what you think

Comments

1 - 7 of 7

By me, right now

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Namita
September 20, 2007

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Yes yes. I can say "heartfelt" from the heart wioth lots of emotion. Congrats on the bronze.

Luv,
~Candy
fathom me
September 4, 2007

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Its a lovely sad heartfelt write.. Im glad I came across such a talented writer Thank you for sharing this
Tangled Angle
September 3, 2007
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This is so relatable. Love this.

Congrats on your bronze win.
PageTurner
September 3, 2007

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Awash in Feelings...
A tingle producing read, my friend! Well worth the BRONZE it earned. I 'specially liked this line...

"I can feel the moist-
in your constricted life."

That, and your... brought it all together ending;

"I can now see it was your tears.
I am sorry."

...Sighhh, Scribe. ~ Nicholas
InBetweenThoughts
September 2, 2007

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Congratulations on your lovely award, a beautiful, yet somewhat sad write, very enjoyable. Great imagery. Thank you for sharing, have a wonderful evening Ken IBT
jasminerose
September 2, 2007

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Such a beautiful entry and well deserving of an award indeed! Congratulations to you!!
Jasminerose
layla.
September 2, 2007
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Nicely said. I liked your ending alot. It was a subtle choice indeed. Good luck!

<3