Clear and blue like the morning sky
Your eyes captured me
Drawing me in so close
As you stole my glass heart
So lost in your lies and tricks
Unaware of my gloomy fate
I didn’t realize the danger ahead
Your eyes turned black and cloudy
Like the stormy sky wicked and taunting
And my glass heart was shattered
Author notes
Propmt: Unaware of storm clouds, 5-10 lines
A contest entry
- PIF [quickie] by layla..
300 points, ended September 2, 2007, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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eh
I am not trying to be mean or anything, but I really am not a big fan of short poems. Nothing against this poem per say. I like the imagery and there isn't much of a flow. I think maybe its my biased against short poems. But I feel short poems always feel somewhat condensed. -
NIce take on the prompt. You have some good images formed there. Good luck!
<3 -
You're gonna win. Thats all there is to it...
And don't deny it. I really like the bit about the glass heart. Thats basically what happens. They shatter it into a thousand million tiny itty bitty pieces and it's wicked hard to put back together.
Megan
Megan -
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Im gonna win? Uh huh sure, but not before you. Go read your poem again. That was great! Im gonna win ... damn. You really are on somethin... O.o
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Haha you make me giggle. Maybe YOU should read it again. Yours is much better. And I put you on my page under the family. I only have two right now!
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