Stolen away
with the brisk of day
The Angel of Death
confiscated your last breath
no time to say good-bye
so silently I cry
you were taken before your time
dearest and beloved friend of mine
your hopes and dreams came crashing down
into the abyss; now you lay on holy ground
may your memory live on forever
knowing that I'll forget you never.
Author notes
In loving memory of Nikki Mason
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Fantastic
What a fantastic way to say I love you to someone that is gone..
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It's so sad. Done very well.
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wow
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Deeply Expressive my fellow poet. You have looked deep into my heart and found one of darkest pains. You have penned my feelings and emotions as well. I never got to say goodbye to my Sister before she passed away and it bothers me still after almost 8 years.
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u can never forget some one you cared about your whole life.. its even harder when you've loved them so much... death is the hardest thing to get over... cause it is hard trying to fill that whole... i kno wat its like.. i've walked down that rode... just think about them for the strength they gave u when they walked with u... they r always with u... never forget that
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heart-wrenching tribute....
This really tugs at my heart strings. I am sorry for your loss. Certainly, Nikki's memory will "live on forever."
Don
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I feel sorry for you this must have been someone you really loved. the poem itself is very good i find
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Great
Love truly never does leave -
Powerful,
but the rhyme felt forced, and i think that may have robbed the poem from some of it's power. I'm very sorry to hear about your friend. Take comfort in the fact that those we love never truly leave.
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im sorry...
i know were strangers but if you ever need someone who wont judge, im here
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A Beautiful Tribute
This was such an amazing tribute to your friend. I hope that you take comfort in the knowledge that he/she is now part of the Divine. As I said in my first comment of one of your poems, the only (and again, I hesitate to use the word 'critique') comment is that you seem to be trying to fit your emotions into a certain form - in this case rhyme - that I think some of the emotion gets lost, though it is most definately still there! You have an extreme amount of budding talent, it's a bit ridiculous, actually. If you just let yourself go, forget about form or function, I think you'll (and we'll) be blown away. Keep writing, this was beautiful.
***Rae***
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This seems a tad chopy, but I like the rhyme. Remember that not every stanza has to rhyme so don't make it awkward. Nice use of imagidry however. good job
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lol
thank you for the comment i appreciate it and this is a beautiful poem too it really touched me and i feel like i know her now -
Wonderful tribute to Nikki...Also there is beautiful rhyme and flow in this piece...Keep up with the good poetry~
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Awwww...I don't know who she is, but I feel your pain. I'm sorry about your friend.
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OMG this is the one u told me about that night i was really distraught right?! the night you waited with me for hours waiting for that useless excuse of a person...you carry nikki with you and that's all that's important.
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