I was barley 6 years old
We lived next door
to the 5&dime
I grab papas thumb
He led me next door
Candy was a penny
Cigars were a Dime
The smell of liquor
Made papa smile
Grandma scorn
A contest entry
- My First Contest - Picture Inspired by guttermouth.
450 points, ended September 2, 2007, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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While I'm not old enough to remember this, I've read enough books and heard enough stories to be nostalgic about this time period. Really nice write, best of luck in the contest.
(There is a minor spelling error I believe, it says "barley" in line one and I imagine it should be "barely." Easy enough to fix.)
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excellent
Simple and well expressed.
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great write i could use a shot of brandy
love revbropapa
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hmmm...
simple yet great...keep writing...you're great... -
Very nice poem about memories of the past. Those were the days, funny how we remember certain details.
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Goalsv
yes when I was young my grandfather did take me to his hide away bars, he mostly bought me a pretzel and he slammed down a few draft beers. Grandma would give him the dickens for taking me in the bars. The picture brought back all my memories of this time in my life....
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cute
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I liked this, but I wasn't overwhelmed. A few spelling/grammatical problems which kind of hurt the flow for me as I read it. I do like the concept and appreciate you entering the contest.
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