Freedom to choose my own discourse,
why must I speak of babbling brooks,
while there is much to be said,
metaphoric hooks for those disenfranchised souls.
People want to believe
justice, peace and love, the eternal cliche,
yet what is it that they see,
everyday brings us a new killing spree.
Rivers of crimson blood running a rugged course,
while their bodies fill the streets,
like broken harmonies.
Liars, thieves, murderers, all in a days discourse,
society's cursed disease, will bring you to your knees,
humanity's course, laid down in the centuries past,
this new world order, is it really worth dying for?
Torrents of anguished tormented screams,
while their bodies lay dead on the streets,
like broken harmonies.
Reach higher and you will see,
the lies you have been told, we swallowed them whole,
hook,line and sinker like the stories of old,
a people held hostage to political intent.
Rise above the crescendo of this doomsday clock,
counting down relentlessly, hell bent,
no escape, let the masses be washed away,
like old news on CNN.
Languishing disparity for the predestined,
survivors of mankinds very own armageddon,
while their bodies lay on the streets,
like broken harmonies.
Why does faith come at moments like this,
haunting us all, while the final curtain falls,
the end of this longest running of comedies,
this is your final decree.
Endless goodbyes, this we will not have,
barely time to close your eyes,
lest you burn in hell.
Author notes
A poem in the Like Strands of Fist and Bone contest by AAbruzzese.
A contest entry
- Like Strands of Fist and Bone by Saint Gut-Free.
600 points, ended October 7, 2007, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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an incredible piece that screams of melancholy. a tortured soul just seeking rest and wanting for more. very good friend
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this is sooo sad i love it
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Wow Excellent Write
I loved the part about Armageddon! This is what God fortold us in his word didn't he. Anyway loved it and so true about the reality's of life today which is so very sad and a difficult time in our society saying it ever so mildly. The title Freedom of Mind Is It Really Yours To Speak? excellent title and then the first line
Freedom to choose my own dicourse and the last line lest you burn in hell. Wow powerful poem and message. Excellent write dear sweet AP dad. Wish you blessings today as everyday. God Bless only one of many daughters on AP Kelle Marie, stavykm
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Extreamly intense.
My first impression is of a tormented soul. Emotionally this leaves me to wonder if he ever truelly found his way. this is not awkward to read and therefore doesn't need changing. I can't say that I have a favorite nor unfavorite part as it is to intense and filled with to much anguish for me to choose either way. The title is obviously right for this. The first line works well with this and the last line states just what these words intended. a very intense write. -
my bad! I had a detailed crit here, one that was not in order.
So it's gone now. Ah, now I pray to the wonderful Edit Button:
bless you, button!
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Overkill did you say?
Thanks Reid for the editing the comment.
I really appreciate it though negative is not always the worse thing but that one was way over the top.
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Apology
from a noob, me! I didn't and don't know the format/request options here; I did not see that the poem was up for comments, rather than sledgehammer critiques. I'm sorry. Can I delete the damages? I'll try that now.
Cheers for your being a good sport,and able victim, too!
R. -
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Reid, its ok. Actually I like the critique just wish you hadn't employed the sledgehammer just yet.
LOL
But no need to remove the comments afterall It is a bit of a retort to the "Free Speech is alive and well" movement.
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Error message comes up when I try to delete this former commentary.
It says a "body is required".
Not having any loose corpse to spare,
I leave these words instead.
Peace out.
RIP, Slamuel L. Critique
Rev. Reid -
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I think what happened here is I put the poem in the wrong review category, for I need not for critical reviews at this point. But still you thought best to come at it twice with surgical instruments, perhaps next time ask the patient if he wants to be operated upon before you operate?
LOL
Dr you ain't, how is that for cliche.
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Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is so full of profound truth!!! Unfortunately I don't see much changing unless we change and turn our hearts back to almighty God and wipe out the moral decay this country has spiraled into!!! You did a marvelous job on this piece displaying your views in a straight forward way here. You speak profound truth here my friend!!! I thanks you for writing this for us to read and ponder upon!!! Thanks for sharing your views!!!~~Toni~~
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