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(Contest) Everything Changes

I watch you as you turn away
stay please I pray,
you take a step
and my heart wept

as I watched you, your heart so dear
to me, I fear

i've lost you from

my life, a bomb

 

seems to fall on all I know and

my life will bend

as everything

changes, from sin

Author notes

this was quite a challenge lol. its in 'minute' style for a contest, see the first contest link to find out the rules for a 'minute'

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • micol
    September 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a challenging form, but you worked it well to communicate your ideas. The opening stanza seemed especially effective. Thanks for entering.