A professor once called it
The frosting on the cake,
Then admitted humbly
(for the first time in his life)
That he was wrong.
It is the cake itself--
The subtle richness,
The moistness, the flavor:
The scent of almond
As thick batter swirls in
Creamy spirals while
Twin beaters add
Necessary air to make
It rise and stay.
The texture as it pours
From bowl to pan,
Huddling for a moment
At the center, then
Slowly … deliberately
Reaching to each edge.
The smell that penetrates
Expectant air, warm,
Inviting, promising
Hidden surprises when
The oven finally
Accomplishes its alchemy.
The golden surface,
Smoothly tense, waiting
For a thin, sweet veil
Of ornament
To highlight greater
Pleasures underneath.
Frosting may be what
We first see, what
Children most desire;
But adult taste is more
Discriminating, less
Satisfied with surface,
More hungry for firm
Moistness, richness,
Flavor out of sight.
A contest entry
- MUSE ABUSE : USE METAPHOR TO EXPLAIN METAPHOR by Everwind Rising.
500 points, ended September 8, 2007, 7 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I'm sick of the same old crap! by Trent plus pen.
1100 points, ended September 13, 2007, 51 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Submissions for Poetry Magazine. by Norman Crabtree.
745 points, ended November 11, 2007, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - metaphor! metaphor! metaphor! I've been very literal, lately by ellipsist.
433 points, ended November 15, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Thank you for entering my contest!
this in parts went over my head, i just didn't really know what was going on in places, and that kind of spoilt it, so i don't think it would be suitable... it also kind of explained itself throughout the poem.
Good luck in the future. -
This is the kind of stuff I need in my contest.
I get the same old kind of write all the time, and it gets to be such a drag actually judging.
When I read something fresh and different like this I actually sit-up in my chair and take note. It's the EXACT kind of extended metaphor I wanted, and you will see that alot of the similar poems that placed had the same kind of idea.
Great extened metaphor!
Thanks heaps!
Much love and respect.
Trento
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Lovely metaphor! Great descriptions. You engaged my interest, senses, and understanding. Especially enjoyed your 'oven alchemy'. Most enjoyable!
Congrats on your trophy!
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Wonderful extended metaphor. I love the way you took one object and expounded upon different aspects of it to bring depth to your metaphor. Oh, and I love cake too!
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Oh this is a wonderful home-cookin' kidna prod. I used to have a recipe for a Dutch Almond Cake that you put a strawberry cream sauce over...think I can find it..and this poem has my mouthwatering for it. Beautiful sensory poem.
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Thanks. When my wife and I do wedding cakes, we find that a touch of almond in both the batter and the frosting tastes much better than the usual vanilla. We just finished one a week or so ago, hence the focus in that stanza.
I appreciate your comment.
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The content, not the fluff,
is what we treasure, right, Micol?
Aesthete -
This is wonderful! How true! As we mature we realize that what is important is what lies beneath the surface. You have penned a masterpiece by presenting an important life lesson and you did it by making my mouth water. You are the only poet that has actually made me want a piece of cake. Brilliant!
Love,
Amera♥
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Ah, This works on several levels. First, it makes my mouth water like Homer Simpson's does for donuts. Secondly, It makes me thinks,; which is metaphor-the frosting or the cake. Is it both? The ornament, the layer of sweet language, and the aha! moment, where the sweet language takes us, it's meaning. The richer the metaphor, perhaps also the right amount of obscurity, the greater the aha!
This is sweet and rich.
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Good thinking. Years ago, one of my professors wrote a book about language, in which he passed metaphor of as "the frosting on the cake." Several decades later, he had re-thought the whole concept and written four or five chapters on the varieties and functions of metaphor in daily language--not to mention in poetry. And he was right. There is no language without metaphor; no poetry without metaphor at some level.
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