claws of betrayal
slash
unexpectedly
like locusts
feasting
on harvested crops…
no tantrums,
no traumas,
only terror…
in
your
goodbye.
A contest entry
- 20 words by Virgoan.
500 points, ended September 11, 2007, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - SHORT POEMS PART 2 by Blooming Poet.
700 points, ended March 23, 2008, 129 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - GoodBye Says It All ! by Jade.Butterfly.
500 points, ended November 9, 2008, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Wow!
Very short but straight to the point.
This was very emotional and i could feel the hurt in it.
great piece indeed! i loved it.
-Mandi
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Claws of betrayal, so well penneed and so true, betrayal and claws coincide very well. I love this poem. So much pain, so much anger packed into this poem. I love it.
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Claws of betrayal, so well penneed and so true, betrayal and claws coincide very well. I love this poem. So much pain, so much anger packed into this poem. I love it.
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this ones even kind of eerie ... I like the use of locusts, it almosts makes it sound biblical and therefore more real and harsh.
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My thoughts are moving for this piece gives a certain spine tingling touch to the senses.
Thanks for sharing and best of luck
>>>VIRGOAN -
Cool, thats some awsome imagery you have here. Really fills you with terror, just what you are trying for here I think.
All the best
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EEEEEEk Help! Very unpleasant thoughts provoked. Descriptive and to the point. Thank you for sharing it... I think?
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