Closer, and closer, and closer, and closer
I can't BREATH anymore!
Faster, and faster, and faster, and faster
I'm about to HIT the floor!
I couldn't feel anymore pain,
I'm about to go insane,
I couldn't feel anymore pain,
IS ANYBODY EVEN LISTENING?!?
Is anybody even out there?
'cuz i swear i can't feel you here
Is anybody even out there?
'cuz i'm suffocating,suffocating,suffocating under pressure!
I'm silent, i'm listening, but I cant hear a sound.
I'm screaming,and yelling, but I haven't been found.
You are making a really big mistake,
'Cuz you know and I know, that you're just a fake!
Is anybody even out there?
'cuz i swear i can't feel you here
Is anybody even out there?
'cuz i'm suffocating,suffocating,suffocating under pressure!
Is anybody even out there?
'cuz i swear i can't feel you here
Is anybody even out there?
'cuz i'm suffocating,suffocating,suffocating under pressure!
Author notes
Blah! Icantcmylifefrmhere
option 1!!!
A contest entry
- [Pain] by whiterabbit..
360 points, ended October 14, 2007, 40 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - *** Untitled Contest *** by Hebz.
425 points, ended September 21, 2007, 74 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ( ! A N Y T H I N G ! )*~*~PRE-WRITES are OK ... 203;203;203;203;203;203;​​R by xxlisajazminexx.
425 points, ended October 9, 2007, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites that dont suck. by parachute fog.
400 points, ended October 20, 2007, 93 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Songs, Songs and more Songs by Dark Soul Reaper.
360 points, ended October 25, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PREWRITES ALLOWED!! Twisted,Strange, Break-Ups, New Love.. by Stripes.
300 points, ended October 26, 2007, 48 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - yep yep yep....*bunny* by kitkat92.
450 points, ended November 10, 2007, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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good stuff keep it up.
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this poem is so deep, powerful and emotional. LOVE IT
keep writing. it would make good lyrics
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Very well written Great Emotion and alot of anger its seems like your frustrated and wanting to be heard
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wow
it would make a great song....nywayz, its good and dark and full of emotion, thanx for entering -
i don't know why but this one has something special within these simple yet very powerful verses!hmmmm....a very intriguing perspective in here!loved it!well done indeed!
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Not bad. I like it. Keep up the good work
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GREAT WRITE!!...................
WELL DONE AND WITH SUCH EMOTION AND GREAT IMAGERY THROUGHOUT EACH LINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-----------------------------------------------
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ENTERING THIS WONDERFUL PIECE INTO MY CONTEST!!!!!!!-----
WISHING YOU MUCH LOVE----
AND GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
XxLisaJazminexX
__________________________________________________________________
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This was very powerful! It jumps right into your skin. I liked this. Keep Writing!!!!
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powerful &emotional
I love it
Thnx for ur entry & Best of Luck
GloriousGift
Heba -
This is really great. I can see the raw pain and the anger in this. I know I've felt like this before, no fun. Good write and thanks for your entry.
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strong words.... and to the commentor that is apparently in love with billie joe armstrong..... hes not even close to a musical genius.... hes good at what he does.... but thats it... his spectrum is smaller than my pinky anyway back to the song...... is this written out of the theme of another song or is it all original?
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woah kiddo whats wrong
this poem seems to be a bit claustrophobic
and emotional
and deep
talk to me if something wrong
love ya
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AWESOME!!!!! it makes lke an awesome song!!!!! LOVE IT DAMMIT!
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noooo dont suffocate! u already know me likez this songie... and so WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 mwahahahahahahahaahahahahahah
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wow i liked this piece very much. good job writing this i hope you write more like this. i could feel the emotion in this very much. so much. good job
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