For Felicia,
If I were in a densely populated room, tumultuous and loud...
You would be the only one I'd notice in the crowd.
If I were born without sight and to this condition hopelessly consigned...
You would be the eyes through which all of creation would shine.
If I were an idealist trying to accomplish my dreams alone...
You would be the reason to create some of our own.
If I were a sailor lost on the open sea at night and confined to its' wrath...
You would be the Northern Star, by which I would chart my path.
If I were a painter who toiled at my easel all day...
You would be the Mona Lisa, on canvas, staring back my way.
If I were a simple farmer laboring in the blistering sun...
You would be the respite of shade; I'd withdraw to when day was done.
If I were a fortune seeker, to which success and wealth I did aspire...
You would be the only jewel I would desire.
If I were a poet, playwright or composer of songs for the stage...
You would be my muse, my inspiration by which I earned my wage.
If I were even dying of thirst on an arid West Texas plain...
You would be the last drop of a late summer rain.
If I were a man, jaded, but wanting to build a relationship with a woman again...
You would be the one with which I would want to begin.
If I were a soldier and going off to war...
You'd be the seamstress, who designed the flag I proudly bore,
Or Perhaps Even
You would be the Queen, under whose ensign, I would willingly die for.
But alas I am none of these, sad but true...
They are just reflective thoughts a guy like me had about a girl like you.
So I leave you with what I think is the best...
A true statement, equally powerful as the rest.
If I were a truck driver, and traveled all these roads alone...
You would be the reason I was always headed home.
Author notes
I was going to you use the title, "If I Were..., You Could Be... But I found that the word would provided a more powerful statement.
Having an oppritunity to get to know another soul is the most important treasure one can have here on earth. I was trying to write something to portray to someone how important the chance to get to know them would be to me personally. I was also trying to write about the importance one might have to another, without even really knowing them. For it is when a relationship is new that your mind can paint images of "if" so well on the canvas of one's mind.
I found it ironic that when I was through I had written something that could also be a strong statement of true love. Alas it is not in this instance. Hope You Enjoy!
In a list
A contest entry
- ANYTHING! by Beating.
1300 points, ended September 13, 2007, 103 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything by Madison Mary.
1000 points, ended September 18, 2007, 25 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - make me love again by forgotten souls.
300 points, ended September 19, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - On Your Wedding Day by Gods-Artgal.
800 points, ended November 26, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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i loved the ending of this poem
the best
but you rocked the house with this write my friend
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Excellent and heat felt
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Excellent
This is one of the greatest,romantic writes I've read. I wish I'd have written it. Excellent write.
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Thank you for sharing, best to you in the contest
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This is a great poem.
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Such a romantic piece of poetry! ~Sigh~ Loved the last line as it sums up the true essence of all that your heart holds so dear!
A beautiful heartfelt poem!
I wish you all the best in the contest!!
Linda
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This is beautiful, I hope someone special was on the receiving end of this piece, you captured all that is love so perfectly right here
Karen -
Outstanding
This appealed to my sense of romantic love. There are so many beautiful lines in this poem that shows love as a strong motification for being a live. I liked all the idealism and flow of this poem. Best of luck in the contest.
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"You would be the Northern Star, by which I would chart my path."
That line and the two ending lines just blew me away. You really took the title and made something quite unique. I love how this just screams about unconditional love. You did really well! -
Truly beautiful words...I found your Author Notes to be as full of heartfelt thoughts as your poem. You created some extremely romantic notions which anyone could relate to...
If I were a man, jaded, but wanting to build a relationship with a woman again...
You would be the one with which I would want to begin.
If I were in a densely populated room, tumultuous and loud...
You would be the only one I'd notice in the crowd.
Just so full of wonderful ideas.
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Beautiful
Fantastic!! I feel the love and the encouraging words of romantic love! My favorite part is you would be the reasib U was akways headed home!! And your special someone on the first line would stand out in the crowd. You covered so very much and I love ryhming so much!! Yours is the first ryming one I've heard all day. I love your poem it is a excellent, beautifully written poem to your loved one. Thank you for sharing your heart with me.
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Muchas Gracias
as they say they here in some parts of Southeast Texas. I am thankful you selected the poem. I appreciate the time you took to comment. The rhyme form is the only one I enploy when I write. Unfortunately I know no other forms other then Acrostic. Feel free to stop by my author page, anytime.
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Great poem.... excellent rhyming and very passionate and loving. Enjoyed this, thank you for sharing it!
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This is beautiful Rich, Your writing skills are excelling high. I wouldn't change a word in it, Wow very nice!...GETS
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Many Thanks
For taking time to consider this offering. I would agree that my skills have improved in the time I have been here at AP. Thank you Gets.
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