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Also You and I?

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Wouldst thou virtuous be
if we, by chance, were two,
where my compassion doth flow free
in circling starlits about you?
If my heart ne'er again roamed
far afoot, or obliquely run,
and the firmness of my love
is never done, never done?


I know I am quite innocent
in this wantful sphere
as my breath flows straight and true
whether you see joy or slipping tear.
When trepidation strikes
or courage triumphs o’er fear

the earth knows what you mean to me
and what I would through time endure.


When they dig my shallow grave
would you stay, would you stay
until a leaf has alighted on
a love that lived just yesterday?
And when my spirit dwells upon

where a loving couple lies

would you imagine two so bonded

had been also you and I?










work on sections:
And as my spirit dwells upon
where a loving couple lies
would you imagine that their bond
could have been also you and I?

And if my spirit dwelt anew

where a loving couple lies
would you imagine one from two

had been also you and I?


And when my spirit dwells upon

where a loving couple lies

would you imagine two so bonded

had been also you and I?

 

originals:

As my spirit dwells upon
where a loving couple lies
and it imagines that their bond
had been also you and I?

 

the earth moves with what you mean to me
and what I would in time endure.

 

Virtuous wouldst thou be
if we, by chance, were two
if my compassion doth flow free
in circling starlits about you?
If my heart ne'er again roamed
far afoot, or obliquely run
and the firmness of my love
was never done, never done?
 
 

Author notes

Woven from the following works of John Donne: 1572-1631 (pictured)
A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning
The Relic

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6
  • Man, this is beautiful...
    You are versatile as hell...
    I'll have to look at these works to see how much "weaving" you did.


    • wbiro gold member
      May 7
      Edit | Reply
      hey, thanks for the look, drew me back to give it a good going-over...


  • JustBe gold member
    October 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    PLEASE do not remove your entry. I do plan to give you quality commentary, and I am sorry it has taken me this long. to even say this much. This is easily the hardest contest I have judged, if you did not win, then that means only just slightly more than nothing, as far as this judge is concerned.


  • SexyAngel0418
    September 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is an awesome poem ap daddy!!! You did a great job on this one!!! I really enjoyed reading it!!! Keep up the great work and good luck in the contest!!!

    Hugs,
    Beth


  • misticmoonlite gold member
    September 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    WOW!

    THIS wbiro,is quite unique,you pen this with brillance and knowledge of the heart, I hope you get a gold for this, you took time with this,as always...SH

1 - 6 of 6