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Lost Wings

Missing image

Lost Wings

I am an angel and I love him so
I’m born with music instead of a soul
He’s a musician and he’s my maestro
I must become mortal, that is my toll

I’m born with music instead of a soul
So I traded my wings, I went to sleep
I must become mortal, that is my toll
When it is over, my love I can keep

So I traded my wings, I went to sleep
From heavens above I now must depart
When it is over, my love I can keep
Forsaking my, strataverious heart

From heavens above I now must depart
I must become mortal for love to grow
Forsaking my, strataverious heart
I am an angel and I love him so

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Pantoum

The Pantoum is a simple form yet more difficult to compose than the sestina. It is far more repetitive, for its defining rules are ABAB stanzas of four lines each, and the second and fourth lines of one stanza become the first and third of the next. It can be any number of stanzas long, but the ending line must be the same as the first. The result is a poem that takes two steps forward and one step back the entire way through, finally ending on the same note it started.

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Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • Sacrificial Love
    September 14, 2007

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    Oh Amera....

    this is so incredibly and eerily beautiful...

    It has been FAR too long since I read your words my sweet sister....


  • AndrewHide silver member
    September 12, 2007

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    This pantoum tells a wonderful tale, the repeating line continue to work in the second use well. I did find your explanation of the final stanza different to how I have seen pantoum described before, (although I have seen several variations), but the poem is strong enough make it of little matter.

    I enjoyed the beauty of the poem and the craftmanship used to create it.


    Andrew


  • Swan song gold member
    September 3, 2007

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    I liked it! strataverious heart is original
    I have nevr heard one being played but I hear it is wonderful. Very origonal and as always your form is on par and brillience shines


  • penman gold member
    September 3, 2007

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    Excellent

    Another incredible use of a form. The flow is flawless and images exquisite. Best of luck in the contest.


  • second-born
    September 3, 2007

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    Wow...so beautiful...serene and sweet emotions of a sacrificial love...I love the repetitions...oh our dear angel, may you soar higher with your wings of amazing poems...


  • PerVirtuous
    September 2, 2007

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    This is bittersweet with all of the tornado of emotions that brings. Leaving the divine realm to join one who is not divine. Yet, the love of something imperfect seems to be of the highest nature. You again identify a paradox and make it sing. Wonderful.


  • HaleyMary
    September 1, 2007

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    Great write. This is a beautiful poem. This poem reminded me of the film "City of Angels" where the Seth character had to choose to be human in order to experience love.

    This poem flowed beautifully. You are so good at this form poetry. Good luck in the contest.


  • Whoochi gold member
    September 1, 2007

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    You are my Ange...My Angel teacher and keeper of my heart! Well done....


  • XXXDark--AngelXXX
    September 1, 2007

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    Wow

    A Love So Grand And Wonderful. That It Overtakes You....Your Wlling To Give Up All There Is Just So You Can Be With That Person Forever. This Poem Is Wonderful. Keep Up The Great Writes.


  • Moons Lunar Angel
    September 1, 2007

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    This is amazing Well done. Kicks my piece's ass and rightfully


  • Hetha gold member
    September 1, 2007

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    A love so great the speaker would be willing to sacrifice everything for the chance to know it and grow with it. Wow! And in a lovely, softly spoken Pantoum form. Beautiful! Sheer brilliance.


  • RedAquarius
    September 1, 2007

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    I just really, really liked this. It flowed so smooth, I didn't know I was at the end. A lovely use of music meshing with love -since music already can touch us so deeply, it makes perfect sense.


  • gothicviking
    September 1, 2007

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    i like it, it is dark and sweet at the same time. thank you very much for your entry, good luck in my contest

  • Bob Fox
    September 1, 2007
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    An Angel

    Either way he cannot lose. Be an angel & keep writing such pretty lines of poetry

1 - 14 of 14