If you take my hand, pull me close
I would lead you places no one else knows.
After desire, here inside sleep,
but watch the edge because the drop is steep.
This is how fate might paint our dream ~
clouds hovering in a dark color scheme.
And if you look deep inside of me
all those elements would surely agree.
Shadows fall and the demons fight,
they’ll slink away if we both hold tight.
Embrace my dusky silhouette,
dance with me and chase away a feral threat.
Seems there’s nothing left of my soul.
Feeling like a guilty con on parole.
Fine all day, but when the night comes
hopelessness beats on a set of sorrow’s drums.
I know you don’t want to be here.
I promised light, but all you’ve found is fear.
Can’t say why, but know you’re the one
who can keep my faith from coming undone.
I will slumber on, in your arms
knowing storms and monsters shy from your charms.
This would be a perfect design
if you, too, were more than a dream of mine...
Yet here inside this fantasy
I know you remain forever with me
Never again to be alone
Safe inside a painted home of our own.
Author notes
By: trista
The picture was a little hard to see but it made me think of thunderstorm clouds, which just happened to be part of a nightmare I had a couple of nights ago. So...that is how the picture inspired me.
For the second bonus, I connected this to the last two lines of Ash-er-mah-leigh's poem, about not being alone.
For the first bonus, my guess is that the pic was saved to use in some sort of school art project.
A contest entry
- The Random Rounds - Round 7 by Frodofan.
1670 points, ended September 19, 2007, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Painted Dreams by trista
Title - 7
Style - 7
Form - 8
Spelling - 10
Captivating - 7
Originality - 6
Reaction - 7
Rules - 10
Makes sense - 8
Enjoyable - 7
total: 77 -
Painted Dreams by trista
Title - 7
Style - 8
Form - 8
Spelling - 10
Captivating - 8
Originality - 8
Reaction - 6
Rules - 10*
Makes sense - 10
Enjoyable - 7
total: 82
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Alright. Great. That's 10 extra points to your score.
92 -
Oh (knew I forgot something), unfortunately your guess was incorrect. The little image is a sample button for a photoshop texture I created.
You can see it, and the fullo sized texture being used here: http://frodofan.awardspace.com/ballisticblends/textures.php -
Please let me know if you ever added the stanza that linked this piece to another so that I can give you the 10 bonus points if you did.
I found this to be a pretty piece. I thought it would have been more attractive with a more exact meter, but at the same time, the lack of this made it have a lighter more airy feel which is sort of becoming to the topic. There was something strangely soothing about this piece.
Title - 5
Style - 8
Form - 8
Spelling - 10
Captivating - 8
Originality - 9
Reaction - 7
Rules - 10*
Makes sense - 10
Enjoyable - 7
total: 82
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Hi Frodofan,
TY for the great comment and score. If it's not too late, I did manage to connect this to another poem. I've been gone for the last 4-5 days and didn't have a chance before this, so if it is too late I'll understand.
TY again!
~J.
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Oh My! I could hardly see the picture that was your inspiration for this lovely poem. In spite of that, your words painted the most beautiful images, and that's what true poetry should do anyway. A very heartfelt work here my friend I wish you well in this Round.
Much Love & Respect ♥
Renee
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Can't wait to see what you add to it.
Good luck! -
Hi ~J.
I read this magnificent piece of poetry of yours,
for some reason it is really touching my heart.
Maybe it's because I had this same dream more times
than I care to remember. The dream it self is very
sad and a bit scarey in places. Yet the ending
showes some beauty.
Your ending makes the whole nightmare worth
something, when you find your self, slumbered in
someone special arms. Know that you are protected.
Then the saddest part of all is waken finding
that it was only a dream.
Mind playing tricks on us as we sleep.
Excellent write my friend.
I wonder sometimes how you come up with the
things, you do. Just what's going on in that
amazing head of yours???
Loveandblessings2u & yours always
Love You,
Joyce
Maybe when you are done help your hubby with his
book, you should start on your own. I'm sure it
make the best sellers list in no time.
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Hi Joyce,
I loved your comment. My mind is a scary place right now, not so sure anyone would really want to know what's going on inside of it. 
I'll tell you all about it soon, I promise. Thanks for the comment and the applause, both are much appreciated!
Much love,
~J.
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if you take my hand pull me close, i would lead you places no one knows. this piece is just great, reading this just make me want to know you, more and more.
good luck in the contest.
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