The walls are closing in on me

I sit here in this room,
In a depression.
I've turned into my mother.
Nothing but a pill popper.

Every-time I turn around I'm sick.
The walls around me start closing in on me,
Slowly at first then faster with tempo.
This depression has come on so fast.

I can't stop it.
I want to but it forces it's self down my throat,
It happens at times I guess.
I just want the walls to stop.

At any moment they'll close in on me,
and trap me in between them.
holding me tight,
hurting me in the process.

There is nothing that can pull me out,
No life line left to hang on.
I've gone numb,
pain is gone and I don't know why.

I sit here in this chair,
slowly turning cold.
The life line slowly turning into dust.
As the walls come closer.

Hatred raises into my chest,
it's not directed toward anyone.
Know one but me,
It's back and I can't stop it.

Nothing I do can take away the coldness.
Thoughts of all my loved ones cross my mind.
The only thing that doesn't is suicide,
I can't go that route I've come to far for that.

Everything I've done in the past comes back to haunt me.
The drugs, the cutting, the suicidal melt downs.
But the walls never stop,
I'm on the vurge of a melt down and I don't know why.

I can't go back down the roads I've put behind me.
I know that I can't do that to myself.
Sometimes I fell like the world is on my shoulders,
Everyone is leaning on me.

I've done nothing to be this way,
I think it's the fact that the people closest to me.
Slowly wither away and die.
I act like shit don't faze me.

But inside it drives me crazy.
The emptyness inside of me never leaves,
and now I can't put it behind me becuase of the coldness.
The older I get the harder it is to push back.


I've tried it tonight and it isn't working,
The world's on my shoulders tonight.
I know that everything is about to crash back down on me.
Or maybe something is about to face.

Maybe the coldness will pass and I'll be okay in the morning.
I want this state to leave me,
I want to be better.
But there is nothing I can do.