I'm not really sure
if I'm ready to admit
all the things that come to mind.
I don't think I'm ready for any of it.
But its here...
and so is it's memory,
of all the things
that in the past
have been my demise.
Its like a steady step
left, right, left, right
pace pace pace
and suddenly it quickens,
and you stumble
and you fall,
and you raise your head only to find
your -.past.- tied your shoes laces again
and you stop and wonder if this is definite.
its not.
but it is.
and, .my. .love. this is the END
but this path has just begun
for the fourth time.
This is hard.
This is ridiculous.
This is unnecessary.
and this is it.
I am ruined,
and I will be beautiful
when I hit bottom.
I'll look up at your faces
mascara stained pillow cases
and tell you
"I don't mean to be this way"
But I'm working so hard.
I'm trying so hard
to be that girl that I promised I'd never be again.
and he says:
"I miss the girl you used to be."
(be/careful/what/you/wish/for)
Author notes
Written September 19th, 2003
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Comments
-
burn it down and walk away
This one gives me chills. "Be careful what you wish for." Almost has a psychotic tone to it, and that is something I can go for... especially with this sort of poem. You know, like the right drink with a certain meal, you need it to make it balanced... and sometimes to offset the bad taste. And just like that meal that you keep eating because your mother has always cooked it, *you hate to break the cycle of things* (you don't want to see her face when she realizes that you don't like it anymore, even though it would be best for you), you keep going back that person... a force of habit, a safe place that just so happens to taste like spoiled mmilk. Just hold your nose and swallow... it's a familiar taste after all. Thank you, -Adrian -
"I am ruined,
and I will be beautiful
when I hit bottom."
Hun, don't ever let anyone make you feel like you're not beautiful at the top. You are one of the most beautiful and amazing people I know, and you've got a soul that goes on for miles. I miss you. I miss the girl you used to be; I miss the girl you are...and I miss the girl you're going to be. You're too great to let anybody make you feel less than what you are...p e r f e c t. I love you, Kala. -Jena
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