poblano salsa
and a dusty saloon glass
my stomach moans
Author notes
Lipograms are a lot harder than they may appear. They are texts that exclude a particular letter or particular letters of the alphabet. This haiku does not contain any of the following letters: f, i, r, e
“Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself”
--Mark Twain
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
-
I like this because it made me feel as if I was in some cantina in Caba San Lucus (sp?) I like the aura it feels me with. Something between a groaning stomach caused by too much to drink and the upbeatness of salsa music
I know, I am strange, but this is what I got from this poem
~Midnight Lace -
Very clever write. My tummy would moan too. Loved it.
-
LMAO! I love it!
-
Oh, the cleverness of you (said Wendy to Peter)...
Such the bard’s prophetic words,
Pregnant with celestial fire,
Bending, as he swept the chords
Of his sweet but awful lyre.
She, with all a monarch’s pride,
Felt them in her bosom glow;
Rushed to battle, fought, and died;
Dying, hurled them at the foe. ~ Cowper (Boadicea)
♥ ~ c
-
Interesting that it doesn't contain "f,i,r,e"... intriguing.
I rather liked this, aside from the fact that it was a difficult style to master. I'm glad you pointed that out though, because I'm not sure I would have noticed otherwise.
Very well done!!!
-
this is the second one of yours i have read that mentions the lipogram ... interesting ... i love how this one spells 'fire' in letters not used and the subject matter of the poem is very much of fire ... of course, you would have thought al this through ... it works well !!
i was pleased to read your explanation for poblano - so in that respect its a shame but thats mine, not yours ! ... good senryu although i sit with 'saloon' for a while ... is it a word that is well used these days ? ... gives this an olde world mexican/cowboy feel, to me - that just gives you an indication of my experience ... -
-
That is precisely the feel I was going for in this! Thank you for your perception and your comments...
-
-
GRIN ...
you are creative, and funny, and you know your likes ... and dislikes. The title added layeredness to the poem.
Wondrous fun write.
Myra
-
Great job!
lol...mucho better than mine!
*PEACE*
-
what is poblano?
i like the way this didn't contain the letters in fire. how tedious it must have been to have to be conscience of that
-
-
A poblano is one of the most popular chile peppers grown in Mexico. They are considered mild, but I'm a lightweight when it comes to spicy and they are plenty hot to me.
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 11 of 11
