Dawn, her gasp, escapes in a scarlet hue
When she meets love and its friend, ecstasy
Hinting in lily drips that wears upon the trees
Kissing the sea in glorious saccharine beats
but yet my man cries in the voice of a wolf
Through the moon his grief sighs in moans
Devouring my ears with its gruesome sounds
On the bed of his call, I sleep upon dreams
but then dawn finds me with my man once again
Dressing in laughs and desires with him
Within her eyes of heaven she shows me splendor
I am with ecstasy and contentment once again
yet night forces to speak of the precedent
moments drips in the air, comes his haunting voice
Forcing me upon a dove to my last love
“My love, my love" is what I hear
Author notes
This is a little poem I wrote of when once i was with a new man during the day the happiness
yet when came night
all I could think of was my last love
In a list
A contest entry
- ANOTHER NATURE PICTURE PROMPT by Roaddog Wolf.
450 points, ended March 5, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - CLICK HERE by Maybe.I.Am.Broken..
445 points, ended March 28, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love... Envy... Fabulous by Pretty Britty.
750 points, ended April 4, 2008, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Calling ALL Poets! ~ A Poetry Extraveganza by Shassidy.
475 points, ended July 18, 2008, 84 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Missing Me, Missing You by ms-cuddles.
900 points, ended October 21, 2008, 45 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me anything! by ASmileForYou.
560 points, ended December 16, 2008, 138 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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The last two lines really add a lot. This was a very well written poem! Keep it up!
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Looking for the length of compostion that is befitting of Poe> Here we have robed in the prenuptials of contentment, equally announcing better judgement, but samely, corresponding with the memory of a first love maybe? How we compare thee with one episode to another
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So beautiful, yet so sad. I've been here a couple of times. It makes you wonder, if things are so great, why is my head somewhere else? Thank you for entering and good luck. Hugs~ Cuddles
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"My love, my love" is what I hear
Beautiful! -
It's quite hard when one has to deal with such a situation. Being in love with someone new, but still having feelings for your last love is difficult - especially since it keeps you from going forward.
I'm pretty sure that quite some people who read this will be able to relate what you have written here.
I found one little oopsie in the second line of the last stanza:
moments drips -> moments drip?
Thank you for this entry - and all the best to you!
Leander -
I've always loved this image and you've done an excellent job on the poem. It's hard when the heart cannot decide.
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Being torn between two is no fun. It can be heartwrenching especially if we are not understanding why we are feeling as so.
Thank you for entering.
Best of luck to you!
Blessings
Bel
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warming write , well done and a pleasure to read thanks for entering and good luck in the contest
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This is beautiful... goood use of imagery. The flow is nice also. Thanks for entering my contest and best of luck!
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This is very good. Beautifully written! Great job! keep it up! good luck.
Crimson -
Oh this piece is really good! I'm don't really like the first stanza as much as the rest. I don't know why, but it just doesn't flow as well. Anyway, other than that I absolutely love this piece. Beautiful and just amazing! Good job!
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This is pretty dope Aurie, I love this one. I can't believe I have not read or commented on it before. My apology. This is really nice and your flow and wording cascade quietly. I think by far, this is one of your most advance write. I see that you are catching up to my style of writing. Interesting. Keep up the great work and thank you for sharing. Best of luck as well
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This is a really haunting poem.
I like the use of emotions and livelyness.
It is an amazing piece.
Well Done -
Holle Cr*p!
This poem gave me chills! I totally love this poem... It's like a haunting melody of sound and shadows of mist filling the air.... It came alive right before my eyes... AMAZING!!!
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This is a very lovely poem. I like it a lot. I just need you AP name in the notes.
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Yes indeed, very lovely. Tru;y beautiful and caressing. Thanxx for sharing this wonderful write.
Candy
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Very Lovely
This is a beautiful poem!! It is real poetry which I admire for I am so new to this I do not have the poetry vocabulary as you or period. I felt wonderful and refreshed when I read this poem!! Because I don't understand some of the words I still feel the poem is perfect!! Thank you for your poetry far more advanced then I!! I hope to grow as I go! Thank you for your support though for you have helped me a lot and I did change my poem a little with corrections A New Day!!
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Wow really liked you're poem !
I realy like you're poem ! You have done a great job here. Keep up the great work.
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thank you
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