The wood crept in leaves of blond ocher
Sewing a basket of coil in its ennui
Surpass me blossoming grass of wax
Where the body of my love stays
As he baths in rays of coffee warmth
being boiled his lovely heart
As leaves drips upon in cotton rain
What if he is the one for me?
What if those lovely moments
shall nolonger be seen as these
days ponder with him, still enjoying him
Roses woven picked out cherish
to be loved so rare, finding a group
of them in a bountiful basket beside me
And what if they are thrown into the pond
Dead petals filters floating, rises their red
I have grew to always see the beautiful rose
held sweet of every summer swings with him
Each rose can pick out every day spent with him
they convey the right sound
because those moments we spend by the feild
What if he nolonger wants me no more
What if he was the love that was made for me
So I search and can never find because he was...
Moments held together like a basket of roses
now what if they are thrown away
The air held scent of something sweet
I watch my roses...keep my moments with him
Just incase they leave, he comes back
Surpass me blossoming grass of wax
Where the body of my love stays
being boiled his lovely heart
What if?...
Author notes
This poem is representing lovely memories with him as a basket of beautiful roses... and the nevousness of one day forgetting of him shall be like roses thrown into the pond... and what if he is? amd at the time it is thrown, then there is no way I can remeber him.
I will always think of him, those times spent...thinking what if he is the one? Still deciding if I shall go to him but I wonder what if now is too late?
In a list
A contest entry
- Never Forget, Never Let Go by trista.
450 points, ended November 30, 2007, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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You have a very interesting concept here and I liked the metaphor. The write as a whole was difficult for me to follow though, just in the way you've worded things...I'm thinking part of that is just your style of writing, but other parts might be grammar issues. Still, a lovely write and asks some good questions.
I did notice this is your second entry in the contest, and that both are prewrites. If you'll note the first line on the contest page, you are allowed 2 entries, but only 1 can be a prewrite. If you would like to decide which one you want to keep in the contest and remove the other one, that would be great.
Thanks so much again, and good luck to you.
Best wishes,
~J. -
This is not a rewards poem. Fix in 24 hours. Questions? Message me.
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Very interesting
I like it. I did see a place you need to fix. Put a space between "no" and "longer".
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thks
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Awesome
Full of deep rich meaning, I love the description you give in your very first sentence, I could picture the beautiful orange yellowed leaves tossed about. I love imagery. You have done such a great job with this piece and used some wonderful analogies. I hope you do well in the contest!
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My vocabulary wasn't quite up to par on the first stanza, but I caught on nicely after that. A beautiful poem of deep meaning and great analogies. Nicely done.
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Very good
Yes such memories holds the true scent of love from a basket of roses given so long ago
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Yeah the basket of roses is what is being compared to blissful memories... losing the basket is I losing those memoents
because the basket is represent memories
because roses are beautiful
and those memories are too
and a group of momments
held together like a basket of roses
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