Ho Ho Ho
Said the merry ole soul
As he came through my door last night.
He was wearing chains
He was carrying whips
He was dressed in a thong
That barely covered his hips.
He was a jolly old man
With a stick in his hand
And he said how’s about some fun tonight.
Well he chased me round the room waving a broom
Yelling “come on girl and ride this train.”
He said “little girl hey
I’ll give you a ride in my sleigh
If you’ll show me what good little girls do”
Well he reach for the buttons on my clothes
And I rared back and punched him in the nose
And good ole santa ran out screaming in the night.
Well the ending of this story
As I’m sure you can tell
Is that Santa’s in town
And he’s mad as hell.
Well that jolly old man
Is really a horny old man
And that twinkle in his eye
Is really horns on his head.
And that list that he checks
On who’s naughty or nice
Is really a list on all the
Girls that he spies.
So when your in the shower
Or getting ready for bed.
Remember old Saint Nick
And pull the covers over your head.
Lock all your doors
Keep your windows shut tight.
And light a fire in the chimney
So Ole Santa burns his butt!
Author notes
Don't Ask
A contest entry
- A VERY MERRY AND KINKY CHRISTMAS by Swtpoetryman.
1000 points, ended January 4, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best XmAs Prewrites by amaranthine lover.
1275 points, ended December 29, 2008, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Hahahahaha I loved this. That is a dirty santa indeed. This was really really funny SH
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I think this is very funny lol
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Santa's getting plenty - but what about me? HE! HE!
No matter how many ladies light a fire to burn Santa's butt - there will be just as many more - to kiss his wounds better - and to offer him a little nookie and a cookie of a sweeter kind when he pops on down their chimney! Why do you think his cheeks are always so red? It's from being between a woman's thighs - so long - while munching on his favorite treat! HO! HO! HO!
Peace & Love!
Earl.
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Too cute and this is the second Christmas-themed poem I've come to read on AP today. I guess it must mean that Santa's coming, but on your advice I'll keep those chimey fires a-burning!
Enjoyed the read of this poem!
Jo -
lmfao! That was awsome!!!! ha ha ah hahahahahahahaha!
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