He held my hand as we modeled love in spring,
In its garden where beauty blossomed sweet.
Tis’ the time when I danced upon his heart in bliss,
Moving in a world of true grace and compassion.
Then I was taken to a valley of moonlit seas,
Where I bathed in the cooling waves of his kiss.
Drinking his tender given peace, swimming,
Underneath the sea of his warm embrace, I danced.
And as we stood by the bridge where the world swayed,
My smiles dripped something upon the rivers of blue,
And I felt as if I was dancing upon sunsets’ respire,
When she lets out her spirit through rays of light.
Until he took me into the whiff of fresh oranges.
The cool, refreshing juice of love sensations spilled,
Upon me, circling me like many doves of glistening rain.
I was taken there through his lovely compliments.
Taken there for tis’ was the longest moment where I danced .
Feeling love’s shower as it held me within.
Then he slowly kissed me and I believe I didn’t know,
where I was as this kiss took me somewhere unknown.
I was there for many hours fainting in glorious dreams,
For when we went back hands in hands,
I found myself dancing upon heaven’s chest,
then upon love then upon a sudden blue bird.
but still I was dancing somewhere upon violet,
perhaps upon a violet rose in heaven’s gate.
and when our hands fled away from each other,
is when I found myself nolonger dancing...
Author notes
The picture is called "We danced in the Rain" by Raccoon
In a list
A contest entry
- The Sensuality In Dancing by ennovy.
600 points, ended September 10, 2007, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Happiest day of my life by Liquid memories.
525 points, ended December 9, 2007, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pimp up my free verse by leander.
400 points, ended January 6, 2008, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I need some help by TwiztidMaggot.
700 points, ended May 5, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
-
this is a real good one. Keep up your amazing work!!! Best of luck.
CrimsonViper -
Ooh, what a beautiful amount of imagery you have captured within the lines of this poem
I very much enjoyed that!
Thanks for yet another entry and the best of luck to you
Leander -
This is very good but I think some of the sentences you have there are not even in need. I think the last stanza is not powerful enough.
"then upon love then upon a sudden blue bird."
I think you can better say this line as well
where I was as this kiss took me somewhere unknown.
With all honesty, I love this piece. i truly do. It has a lot of depths and your metamophores where enchanting as well. keep up the great work and thank you for sharing. best of luck as well
-
Ah, thank you for this exciting imagery filled poetic piece. It waltzes one's heart to magnificent lands of delight. I see I have already commented on this before. LOL Thanks for your entry.
-
Very beautiful write and it's written with many dances in mind. Thanks for entering my contest....novy
-
You have a couple of grammatical mistakes here. The write didn't blow me away, but it wasn't bad. It was fine.
I-Araxie-I
-
well done and filled with love AND CARING. THANKS FOR SHARING.
-
Lovely ballet of metaphors embracing feelings of joy and comfort. This flowed so smoothly. ~ MyKey
Adding your comment:
1 - 9 of 9
