I'm disappearing into a
Vortex that is every shade of red.
Lightning forms in this portal's swirls;
Tears rush down my face as I catch a glimpse of what's ahead.
I fall onto this alternate world's scorching ground;
It instantly blisters my uncovered skin.
A plane with scattered flame and lifeless corpses,
Hell's identical twin.
It reeks here of death
And despair.
My demise here will inevitably come,
I better prepare.
Almost instantly demon-like beasts encircle me,
A fresh meal for the taking.
Their lips, sopping wet as if they haven't eaten in years.
Beneath my feat I feel tremors, Their stomachs are aching.
The circle slowly closes in.
Im helplessly in the center, the perfect prey.
Why don't they just take me now?
They enjoy too much the tormenting delay.
Then suddenly, with one motion they
Rip my body to shreds.
They eat my insides sizzling on the ground,
Around them my blood spreads.
My death was quick
And strangely painless.
I slowly arrise from this grotesque scene
Wearing new clothes. Free of blood. Stainless.
I look down and the beasts are
Still working on distorting my physical structure.
An invisible force, like wind, continues
To carry me higher. Away from my destructors.
Suddenly my eyes dilate as I'm
Blinded by an overpowering light.
Angels grab my hands and pull me
Into my Heaven, such overwhelming delight.
A contest entry
- MY HUMONGOUSLY AWESOME KINDAH FANTASY CONTEST! by HarvesterOfHearts.
700 points, ended September 7, 2007, 18 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Superb/Imaginative/Intriguing/Dynamic
Wow, ab so lut ly fan tas tic. Very well written indeed. Imagery, rhythm and rhyme were just fine. I loved your surprise ending. I didn't expect it.
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Wow..
Damn that's one scary ass place. Very awesome write, the imagery and description were top knotch. Well earned silver medal.
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At first this looks like a description of a descent into hell, but as reading further, the reader has to think, is it?
Good story, well structured.
Good write. Congrats on silver.
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This was great
Yes you have truly penned a great poem here bravo
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holy crap silvos. i loved this! it was incredible! and the way you descibed it was so different than normal... it made it all the more better!
lines like "Hell's identical twin" and "beneath my feet i feel tremors, their stomach's are aching"
stuck out for me ad made it sound so good. this is another great example of a type of fantasy poem! and there are so many types!
thanks for your entry
good luck!
lostelvenchild
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i liked the view of hell. tankes for that. not so much the last part. but,that is only my view. keep writing good work like this. i would like to see more of the plain of torment.
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