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A Heart to CHERIsh

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A heart to cherish and warm hand to hold
High raise all mortal clay from common mould,
Elevates base elements to gold
As magic fusion cuts confusion's hold.
Rest not on sidelines, ceremony trace,
Thrust through Fate’s weight, cue to true interface
That, ma chérie, may see heart heart enfold
On lease from life itself, which won’t grow old.
Could mirrors speak they’d blush, no silver [s]cold,
Harsh time reflect, so joyfully behold
Enchanting offspring duplicate glow's grace,
Resounding echo both of soul, surface.
Incarceration end, lets celebrate
SHared emotions' oceans liberate.


Author notes

Acrostic sonnet A HEART TO CHERISH

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Comments

1 - 19 of 19
  • oh nuts, sorry I forgot these

  • So you like Cher?
    Excellent write Jon robin

  • Shydreamer3
    July 20

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    The detail is impecable and the poem is beyond awesome. Very cleaver use of words and I definetly found myself wanting to keep reading. I loved it and i loved the flow it was truly written well. Wonderful write I must check out more of your poems in the future. Very refreshing and unique as well. GOOD JOB.

  • paw-writer silver member
    May 27

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    This is a nice combination of Acrostic and Sonnet forms. You have used some very unique lines here and it was a joy to read. Nice job! Blessings, Patty

    . Rewarded 4

  • beautiful

    i found it quite stunning and i love your use of words! good job
  • Two difficult poetic forms wrapped in to one nicely written poem. I especially enjoyed the wordplay in this poem, it was actually a joy to "read" (I mean read aloud, the words sound lovely together).

    7th line: That, ma cherie, may see heart heart enfold. (heart is written twice, and I am guessing that the intention was supposed to be "her" or "your"?)

    12th line: Resounding echo both of soul, surface. (this line gave me a bit of trouble...I kept wanting to read it as "both of soul and face" for some reason. Perhaps there is a better way of putting the wording together here...)

    Overall, this is a very nicely written piece that I quite enjoyed reading. Nice work!

    . Rewarded 8

    • Heart to Heart though far apart ...

      Good Morning

      heart heart enfold ... the intended meaning is heart enfold the cherished heart ... thus mutual enfold...me(a)nt


      soul, surface ...

      another way of expressing the words would be content and appearances

      hoping this clarifies your understanding of my intentions which, hopefully, remain 'honorable'

  • michaelynn
    March 29
    Edit | Reply
    outstandin
  • Outstanding

    I liked how you combined the concept of an acrostic poem with the sonnet form and how the message of the acrostic echoed the sentiments of the poem. This flows fluently and shows all your ability to be creative with rhyme. A lovely poem that speaks of love.


  • She Has My Heart
    November 3, 2007

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    Ahh very clever, an Acrostic combined with another poetry form, I like the idea. The flow of this piece seems kind of awkward, the rhyme is good though and there are some nice lines

    Elevates base elements to gold
    As magic fusion cuts confusion's hold.

    Could mirrors speak they’d blush, no silver [s]cold

    Those are my favourites. Thanks for your entry and good luck in the contest. Take care x

  • leander gold member
    October 23, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Well, an acrostic mingled with a sonnet - for that alone you need a statue in my opinion You have done quite a good job with this poem actually.

    There are some tiny oopsies in there:

    First line: ... warm hands to hold (as I'm guessing it's plural? otherwise you need to add 'a' to it (... a warm hand to hold.)

    Third line: not sure since English isn't my maternal language, but to my feeling 'base' should be 'basic'
    ... basic elements. -> If I'm wrong on this, please let me know and disregard this part

    Seventh line: You have two times the word 'heart' in there - guessing the first one should be replace by 'your'? -> ... your heart enfold

    In your thirs stanza, last two lines: 'grace' and 'surface' don't rhyme to each other

    I definately like the wordplay in the first line of the third stanza that's very well done!

    Thank you for entering the contest,
    Leander

    • Jonathan ROBIN gold member
      October 23, 2007

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      Hand...ling

      First line: ... warm hands to hold (as I'm guessing it's plural? otherwise you need to add 'a' to it (... a warm hand to hold.)

      Where a heart is cherished it is a hand (singular) to hold - held by the other person's hand - and, in the first line the "a" is implicit as replaced by warm

      Elevates base elements to gold
      In English there is a difference between basic elements and base elements which in the latter case refers to metals other than precious metals essentially platinum, gold and silver

      may see heart heart enfold
      in the above line it is one heart that enfolds the other

      grace/surface is indeed an imperfect rhyme


      Enjoy !

      • leander gold member
        October 23, 2007

        Edit | Reply
        Thank you very much for coming back at me
        Sorry for the incorrect suggestions I made English isn't my maternal language so I still need to learn

  • spanishrose
    October 7, 2007

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    a joy to be read

    What a wonderful putting of words. I am just drinking it all in. Creativity of love and a hand to hold. A deep and touching thoughtful poem. Keep the words floating like a swan on a lake.

    . Rewarded 4


  • Para Bellum
    September 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    hmmm

    well... it is good. I love the rhyme i just love it. But i don't know what's going on. Not that it's not good perhaps that is the point of this body of work. but i like it. Especially the rhyme!

  • Angel Wing Disease
    August 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    It took me a little bit to actually GET the acrostic part. lol.
    Eyes played tricks on me.
    I did like this write a lot.
    Good luck in your contest!!


    xx.

  • Heavens Child
    August 30, 2007

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    This is just beautiful, Jonathan. 'could mirrors speak they'd blush', I love this line. The rhyme is done with thoughtful care throughout. Wishing you the best of luck in the contest.

  • Providence
    August 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Ah the secrets of the alchemy of Love. Just a touch, just a word, heart to heart a lifetime spent, moment renewed in glistening moments of Love.

    Beautiful, Jonathan...
    as always.

    Marianne


  • Providence
    August 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Ah the secrets of the alchemy of Love. Just a touch, just a word, heart to heart a lifetime spent, moment renewed in glistening moments of Love.

    Beautiful, Jonathan...
    as always.

    Marianne

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