Do you want to know why I’m still alive
Why after all this torment I would survive
Painful memories is all that time has left for me
So I am just discarded amongst the debris
I have nothing left its even hard to breathe
Bleeding regret like a tainted disease
I’m starved of truth and starved of hope
So I need you to cut the final rope
There isn’t the possibility of me to survive
Once the world looks away I wont be alive
So let go of my hand and let me die in your heart
Don’t speak and don’t try to make reason
I can’t come to terms of you deceit and treason
So let go of my hand and let me die in your heart
Standing on the brink of death you must decide
Will you try to repair me now you’ve lied
Blinded I try to cry but in the end I just ask why
I let you push me until I will die
Feeling lost and losing my grip
Of this world you must not let me slip
Into myself that has become so dead
Since all my strength and soul was bled
There isn’t the possibility of me to survive
Once the world looks away I wont be alive
So let go of my hand and let me die in your heart
Don’t speak and don’t try to make reason
I can’t come to terms of you deceit and treason
So let go of my hand and let me die in your heart
It only takes a second to forget me
After all of this how hard can it be
I ran from your pain and I wont return
So just let my memory burn
There isn’t the possibility of me to survive
Once the world looks away I wont be alive
So let go of my hand and let me die in your heart
Don’t speak and don’t try to make reason
I can’t come to terms of you deceit and treason
So let go of my hand and let me die in your heart
Author notes
option 1
A contest entry
- Anything by crystallynnbradford.
300 points, ended September 6, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - [Pain] by whiterabbit..
360 points, ended October 14, 2007, 40 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - *~(~*(*~A N Y T H I N G !!!~*)~*)~* PW'S allowed! YOUR BEST/ YOUR FAVORITE !!!! CONTEST! SOMETHING I"M GONNA LIKE! by xxlisajazminexx.
500 points, ended September 26, 2007, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A fond farewell by xbyebyebeauty.
369 points, ended October 5, 2007, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites! by aeolia.
380 points, ended January 19, 2008, 116 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PREWRITES ALLOWED!! Twisted,Strange, Break-Ups, New Love.. by Stripes.
300 points, ended October 26, 2007, 48 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Bring it by Stormy Sky.
600 points, ended November 12, 2007, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me depressing poetry you have. by karebear.
386 points, ended December 3, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Broken and Lonely by nuttynettles.
356 points, ended December 21, 2007, 11 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 1234 by yael.
400 points, ended January 25, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - He Hurt Me, I Love Him by Blooming Poet.
315 points, ended February 20, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Spill Out Your Heart by KeepingTime.
375 points, ended March 14, 2008, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - JUST TWO DAYS TO REACH 1000 ENTRIES !!!! ( BE A PART OF THIS RECORD BREAKING CONTEST ) by Alex Hex.
300 points, ended May 1, 2008, 526 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Shouldn't Love You by pattyann4500.
900 points, ended July 6, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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It's difficult to cut the ties when the heart continues to desire. Thank you for this lovely read. Patricia
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hm...a little repetitive but not bad.
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Beeautiful Poem. Thanks for the entry in my contest, this poem fits it well.
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in this poem i can feel your pain!! i loved it!!
good luck in the contest!! -
omg! this is soooooo amazing. wow! the poems in this contest are incredible beyond belief. wow. omgomgomg! this is one of the most amazing rhyming poems i've ever read. i never could've written something this beautiful. wow!!!


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Do you want to know why I’m still alive
Why after all this torment I would survive
Painful memories is all that time has left for me
So I am just discarded amongst the debris
I have nothing left its even hard to breathe
Bleeding regret like a tainted disease
these are my favorite parts. I love the vivid imagery that oozes from them. It give me an insight as to what happened to the poor angel.
Good write and best of luck.
<3 stormy -
The rhyming is good and not too forced, I have to say. Most people can't pull it off, and you did, so kudos in that regard! I do wish you could have used more of a variety in your end rhymes, but I can't fault you for that, since I can't rhyme to save my life.
The poem itself, though, is long, and I found myself getting bored. The poem kind of repeats itself in all its angsty glory, which counts against it (along with the cliched topic). The length, I think, hinders the poem... and it kind of feels like you've run out of things to say.
I do like it, though. I'm being honest. There's something about this that I really like... I just don't know what!
Peace,
Cristina
PS: Thanks for putting your username in the notes; you're one out of about five or so who has! -
very nice, <3
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BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN!
I LOVE THE RHYME AND THE TRUE HERAT TUGGING EMOTION IN THIS PIECE!
THANK YOU FOR ENTERING YOUR BEAUTIFUL MASTERPIECE INTO MY CONTEST!!!!!
WONDERFUL WRITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -
I’m starved of truth and starved of hope
So I need you to cut the final rope
This is great work, there are so many emotions put into this poem.
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It only takes a second to forget me
After all of this how hard can it be
I ran from your pain and I wont return
So just let my memory burn
what a way to ask to be forgotten
Riftkin -
This is really great. I love how dark it is. I love your wording and the phrases you used.
Bleeding regret like a tainted disease
Great job. -
darkness yes! I've been waiting for something like this to come along...thanks god...
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