I woke early this morning
warm in bed
content to linger
in the stillness
and let time pass.
Half bound in sleep
I looked out
from the shadows
out through the cracked glass of the window
into the beyond.
There a trace of light
had set itself
against the tissue of darkness
and with time was absorbed
into the eastern sky
slowly, silently lowering the stars
freeing the world from the absences of light
releasing colour on the day.
And as the sun rose
I rose also.
If one could choose
a place, the time
I would choose
this time, this place.
The house is asleep
this moment is mine
and I am left
holding this dawn.
Author notes
2007RC107
A real morning here in Wiveliscombe I thought i would try to share it.
all the best perdix
A contest entry
- The Raven Contest: Uncovering Genius in the Written Word by Raven Contest.
14500 points, ended October 1, 2007, 53 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me something beautiful to put on my wall by Wrozes Thorne.
450 points, ended October 3, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
-
emmm
yes i enjoyed those sweet moments with you, its only a matter of minutes that the sun rise occurs but the effect of its wonder lasts for however long we choice to replay the images and feelings.... emmmm so nice to feel stillness in our crazy 2008 world
KD -
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, this is so lovely. What a beautiful time of day that is and I love the images I am still seeing after reading your words. I love raising the shades or drawing the curtains just as the sun begins to rise. That is the best time of the day for me. A feeling of peacefulness that just washes over my entire being as I thank Him for another day here on earth. Thank you for sharing this beauty with me and keep writing poet.
seamaiden ♥
-
Splendid piece of poetic art!!!! The flow was perfect and words seemed chosen so perfectly!!!!! I simply love type of poetry..... I truly enjoyed every morsel as I feast on this satisfying poetic meal!!!!! Great work!!!
-
It's a beautiful write sweetie! I hope to be reading more of your writes soon, and keep up the good work!
All the best,
~Stephi-Dawne~
-
That is gorgeous! What a great way to capture a precious fleeting morning. The title sets the tone for the poem quite well: peaceful and serene. Great job.
-
*jaw hangs open* You just made me want to move there. FANTASTIC JOB!!! That was very...calming for some reason. I love it. Haha Im almost speachless. lol
-
There is a very calm peaceful feeling to this poem. The last stanza and particularly the last line, was especially good.
-
I thought this poem was put together nicely. My favorite part was the last stanza. It was a really nice poem, good job.
-
There a trace of light
had set itself
against the tissue of darkness
and with time was absorbed
into the eastern sky
slowly, silently lowering the stars
freeing the world from the absences of light
releasing colour on the day.
And as the sun rose
I rose also.
lovely
-
Wow this was a real attention getter. It shows how the morning is so calm and quiet. This poem was really beautifully written. I loved it.
-
beautiful write
but dont understand how you can see the window is cracked in the dark................ sorry am too stupid am sure
-
The house is asleep
this moment is mine
and I am left
holding this dawn.
This is indeed a beautiful dawn not because the sun is rose..just because you wrote that the sun is rose..lol..well quite a imaginative and descriptive verse is here bringing a kind of true feel of the intimate morning here in this verse..This is a beautiful and heart warming work..thanks for sharing this wonderfiul work..well done..
-
You painted such a beautiful picture. I feel you have done a wonderful job in sharing this moment in the sunrise with us. To wake to such a lovely site and such tranquility in quiet. Being alone in this moment sounds lovely. Thank you for choosing to describe and share this with us here.
-
so nice and discriptive. I dont think I could discribe in such a way a single moment in time. time is fleeting and cannot be held or sold. this is a fact and we all want to go back to certain moments in our life when something happened that we loved, or we just want to change a mistake we made.
-
i really like this also Martin. Its simpe language just speaks so much volume and profoundness it hits me in the face like a warm duvet on a drizzley day, much like it was today!!! thanks for bring back that awful moment when i had to leave utopia and head for work! but great write!!
-
When I was a youngster I used to arise very early for school on some occasions and despite the pending lingering doom (I was not a fan of scholastics at that point in my life) I felt very much the way reading this poem made me feel. Like a smell from decades ago we are reawakened to memories long forgotten by a piece that encourages us to find those moments of reflection that are so few and far between in life. Well done.
Thank you for your entry.
~Das -
I too love the dawn of the day it brings such peace to me. There something so special about this time of day.
The house is asleep
this moment is mine
and I am left
holding this dawn.
It reminds of the calm before the storm. Great work. Wishing you the best for this final round. -
There is something very majestic about the first light of dawn, the accompanying silence and the freshness of the cool air as the world begins to stir. It is a place of extreme beauty and a time of compelling solitude that nature provides us with, yet many never experience the moment for real. Poetry such as this defines that special moment for those that miss out as it depicts the scene and captures the emotion of it in terms that come across as fresh as the dawn itself, with a clean yet bewitching aura of dignity.
What really touches me about this poem is a warm feeling of total self indulgence because I am reminded of the many mornings I have been up before the rest of the household, to experience and appreciate the clean newness of the day in that moment of solitude when everything is at peace before the hustle and bustle of the day begins. “The house is asleep / this moment is mine / and I am left / holding this dawn” quite literally sums up how I feel at that time. I think this poem is the first one I’ve read during the course of this contest that has touched me with such personal feelings and memories.
Congratulations on reaching the final round of the Raven Contest 2007 and good luck with this entry.
Northern Raven
-
-
Thank you
Northern Raven
Thank you for your thoughtful comment, it touches me that people can take the time to read not only my work but so many others, Your undertaking as a judge in such a competition is not small so thanks to you and all your fellow judges.
I guess the real reason i write poetry is an attempt to bridge the void between myself and others. It is comments and encouragement such as yours that make the effort worth while
I can not thank you enough.
regards
Perdix
-
-
Than kyou for your comment on my poem your time and consideration is much appreciated, and apologies for my own delayed response.
regard
perdix
Perdix -
This is a very beautiful creation that you have entered. I am deeply impressed by the high quality of work that you have presented. The rhythm, the pictures, feel.. everything about your poem is just perfect. A very intelligent theme as well, because such so called "mundane" things of life are often ignored and along with them are also neglected, their power and beauty. The poem appeals to the reader because of the sheer simplicity, yet elegance of your presentation.
My favorite parts:
"There a trace of light
had set itself
against the tissue of darkness
and with time was absorbed
into the eastern sky
slowly, silently lowering the stars
freeing the world from the absences of light
releasing colour on the day."
"The house is asleep
this moment is mine
and I am left
holding this dawn."
Thank you for entering the Raven Contest and Good Luck!
Adding your comment:
1 - 21 of 21
