Her:
I'm petrified of thee,
and thou dost not know.
I watch thee from my window,
as thou should come and go...
Though I'm non-existant
to thee and thy friends,
I wish to have thee for myself,
forget thy custom trends.
Him:
I pass thy home with daily work
and dream of thee by night.
Art thou aware of who I am?
I'm hoping that thee might.
I find myself distracted
by picturing thy face,
but noticing our differences
I feel so out-of-place.
Her:
Our distance is but steps away,
I wish to grab a-hold,
but thou may not agree with me
and think of me too bold.
I step outside to have a look
and thou just turns to me,
thou smiles a most handsome smile
and I know thou thinks of me.
Him:
I caught a glimpse and smiled at thee
and thou hast smiled back,
And now thou knows my thoughts of thee
and differences we lack.
I try to keep my sanity-
what art thou thinking of?
Because this moment strikes my heart,
Thou Art My One True Love...
Author notes
So I'm still struggling to make sure I've properly grammared this 'thou,thee,thy' stuff correctly. I've read a lot of books written like so, but if you have any advice or notice any problems with it, please let me know!
A contest entry
- "make my heart swell" by second-born.
600 points, ended September 9, 2007, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - MY FIRST CONTEST: I WANT LOVE RIGHT NOW. PREWRITES ALLOWED...COME IN AND CHECK OUT by the-gifted.
600 points, ended September 26, 2007, 108 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Old Fashioned Love by Dorcha Runda.
300 points, ended February 6, 2008, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Okay, I usually don't like the Shakespeare thing, but this is by far the most amazing poem I've ever read. I fucking love it! Thanks for your entry and good luck to you.
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aww I love it! you did a great job with those words. The poem caught my attention and kept it! thanks for entering and good luck in my contest!
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this was so beautiful. i loved it. thanks for sharing and best of wishes to you ,
Good luck.
tORY -
Sorry, this isn't what we're looking for, but nice try.
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wow...this is a lovely poem...I loved the her/him thoughts...and the fact that they love each other secretly...very original and very imaginative...
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So Sweet
I love this poem going back and forth between him and her! Thou Art My True Love is a great title and I love it, then I am petrified of thee in the first line, Isn't this true for us when we experience true love, and in the last line Thou Art My One True Love, all of it is so beautiful. What a beautiful write. Thank you for sharing such sweet thoughts!!
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I'm...
...happy with this, happy with the poetry and how it's put together, with "quiet" love talk, in the old fashioned way. Very good picture here with scenes of "cape and bonnet", and gentlemen. Thank you, I thoroughly enjoyed...ian.
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Your welcome, then! but thank you as well. If you liked it, then it must be okay. YAY! Glad you enjoyed it!
Miss Marie
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