there was a little yellow rope in the center, and all the pretty girls ran to it to try it on; it fit like Chanel, like Marc Jacobs, it fit like the feeling i get when my dead father molds into my naked skin
i'm trying to find the antidote
that heals this venom in our souls
the one that plagues our thoughts
with ideas of
year-long comas
with nurses that sew
poppies into our
crumbling flesh
there's no beauty left in my words anymore
no thoughts that i can hear
because it's all
dead.
and my tongue is stuck to the
roof of my mouth
my fingers glued together
like the legs of a nun
i'm an abandoned gypsy child
left in the fields of my
forefathers
they comfort me with their
stale breath and
boney fingers
of ivory and
rust
i'm trapped in my own
self-made limbo
my proverbial paradox of
chapters and
parts
of a story
that doesn't really mix
in the novel of your life
i'm trying to analyze
what it means to breath
to live
to die
to feel
something other than
needles
digging in to your flesh
something other than
eggshells
under your feet
and the
sheer comfort of
lies and delusions
mixed in an odd concotion of
admiration
and
love
i'm an acid rain child
drunk on hallucinations
from birth
and
my breast milk
was always
cold and
it tasted like metal
and
morphine
when i'm older i'll be
the sea
and
the sky
the moon
the earth
and i'll have
my own little
universe
of
nothing.
Author notes
Jesus Christ.
What a terrible poem.
I liked it at first but..
this is bad. And editing only seems to make it worse.
Prompt :
Hallucination Raindrops
Test Tube Baptisms
A contest entry
- Closes Sometime by Hadji Murad.
300 points, ended September 22, 2007, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Oh my god this was fkn amazinggggggggg.
I LOVED IT. SO PRETTY and the metaphors were astounding!
You blew me out of the water; You're sooo going to win this contest like no other.
[Whenever he judges it. You see he fails to do that sometimes. >.> As wonderful of a poet as he is...]
Anyhow,
I loved this.
I can't even choose a favorite portion because it was all great.
The nun's legs did stand out to me though.
Haha.
Greeattt job, bbycakes!!
GRRR.
BTW I ACTUALLY HATE IT;
HULK FACE - -
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I don't know what to say to you anymore.
Other than I love you and I want you to have my babies. <3
My babycakes having my babycakes.
That was lame.
GRRRR.
SO ANGRY AT SELF
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Haha, why was that?
And uh, yeah.
That was pretty lame.
Your lame.
Like your face.
GRRR.
YOU SHOULD BE ANGRY AT YOURSELF.
Fatty.
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ALEX ALEX ALEX!!! Omg, this was far far far far from bad. I luff this poem so much, so much that I want to wrap it in barbed wire and roll in in tar and feathers and sex it up so bad <3 You really need to appricate your talent more...Remember my first comment to you? Well, I still dub thee the king/queen/thing of orgasmicness <3
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Thank youuuuu.
You can call me Her Transvestiteness, King Of All Orgasmicness..or something. Yeah. <3
Thank youzzzz again.
And how are you?
We haven't talked in ages, babycakes. =[ -
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I know! Where the hell have you been?!?! I missed you so so bad...I miss you babi. You need to like give me some way to talk to you when you're not here
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You mean my emailzzzz or my myspace?
My myspace is only for like..people that read my fics. But you can have it if you want. <3 -
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Heh, I like never ever use my myspace, but I will use it for you <3 or you can give your emailzzzz, but I would probally lose it, or emailzz you from like 10 different email addies....I have like....I forgot how many, and some of them are really odd 0.O
but yeah, just some way to contact you when you're not here I miss you when you're not here...oh! and btw, I would soooo luff to read your fics babi, so like yeah, anyways. LUFF you!
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PFFT;
this is FARRRR from bad!! You really need to start seeing your talent the way other people do.
"there was a little yellow rope in the center, and all the pretty girls ran to it to try it on; it fit like Chanel, like Marc Jacobs, it fit like the feeling i get when my dead father molds into my naked skin"
"my fingers glued together
like the legs of a nun"
Fucking amaaaaaaazzzzzing<3
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Awwww.
Thank you, thank you, thankkk youuu. <3
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