traveling ill fields
transitional winged visions
imagination
Author notes
prompt: sick on a journey -
over parched fields
dreams wander on.
In a list
A contest entry
- Basho's echo by monkus.
950 points, ended September 19, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Hi there! I teach haiku at the class on AP and would like to welcome you to join, if interested. I am your children's age, so consider me a daughter/friend. I am blunt but love to help. This is frankly not a haiku. Haiku do not have titles. What is a haiku? Well, first of all, you need not stick to the 5-7-5 syllable count when writing a haiku. You may write in under 17 syllables. Imagery is very important for a haiku. As a haiku writer or a haijin, you are a REPORTER who reports on paper what he has observed. Haiku must always be written in the present tense. They may or may not have a season/seasonal word. Haiku use simple words... the L2 you have here is too heavy for a haiku. Simple words such as "empty, winter, breeze, spring, shoes, dolls, etc. are used for haiku. The word "like" should never be used in haiku(it represents similie or comparision between two things). Every haiku must have a moment juxtaposed against another. I will tell you more in class
Hope to see you there.
Charishma
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This was cool
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thanks for entering, quite interesting
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Oh. yes. I do like this. I find Haiku very difficult. You did a fine job with this one. Well done. ~Pamela
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very nice work my friend, i loved it so direct and to the point with so much emotion lovely work
Temple~
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Nicely penned Basho is to many the haiku master and your interpretation is well done...not just the sensual or romantic or humour poet HH but this shows more of your talented pen. I have a weakness for the zen thinking and you have done this well...good luck in the contest
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