Perfectly rigid you stand there staring.
That same sweet smile upon your face.
Naturally flawless with your plastic skin,
Appearing empty headed, soulless within.
Like a drone, you go about your daily life.
You come across superficial and shallow,
Walking along in your picture perfect world,
Disregarding all the glances and sneers.
People see your statue like features,
Judging without a word.
Ignoring what they don't see,
The faulty girl inside your plastic shell.
Desperate to break free from your cage,
Willing for them to see the soul you possess.
Turning to the crowd, you try to speak;
They turn away instead.
Alone you stand there, an image of perfection,
Trying to shed a tear, wanting to be human.
Slowly you become what everyone sees, a mannequin;
As your face cracks from the sadness.
Now that the mask has cracked, it flakes away.
Piece by piece the plastic flesh falls to the ground.
Crumbling, your body breaks;
Revealing what has been hidden inside.
A face once faultless, now poxed with imperfections;
Revealing true happiness, nothing is fake.
Rushing forward, towards the world;
Reaching out, with each step you take.
Again you find the crowd and try to speak,
But you are stopped with disbelief.
Catcalls and looks of disgust you meet.
Acceptance, is just a dream.
A contest entry
- Tired of Being Judged? by Heavens Child.
600 points, ended September 1, 2007, 25 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ANYTHING! by Beating.
1300 points, ended September 13, 2007, 103 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
-
thank you for sharing your talent with me through this wonderful write. i wish you well in the contest that we both have entered. i am looking forward to reading more from you in the near future. viyanna rosemarie
-
Great imagery! And I liked the use of the manequin as your metaphor. Wonderfully done.
-
This is a very well written piece it kept you wondering just what was going to happen next. I thought the end was just perfect. Thank you for your entry and good luck in the contest.
-
A very deep and thought provoking write. I love the metaphor you have used with the mannequin. Well written with amazing imagery. Good luck in the contests. Loved the poem.
-
Wonderful. The last lines were wonderful. Thank you much for entering my contest.
Luv,
~Candy
-
This is why people come on this site.
Is hoping they will find poetry as well written as this one. Incredible imagery, gripping word choice.
Its all there. you wrapped the last line up perfectly.
it all flowed brilliantly
thanks for joining the contest
-
Poetry At Its Finest.
To me, this portays half of the celebrity society. They try to act as someone they're not. And it sickens me. Even younger girls now are turning into this. This.... "mannequin" as you precisely placed it. Young girls turning themselves into annorexic whores. Guys who think it's okay to have sex with anyone and without any consequences. Now, I'm obviously not trying to put ALL guys and ALL girls into these two categories, but this is what I see when I turn on the news channel and see on Entertainment Tonight that another actress is in rehabilitation for drugs or drinking or some artist who's trying to make it look cool to smoke or whatnot. Now, I'm a seventeen-year-old girl who a lot of people would think I could be part of those "cliques" or "posses", whatever you want to call it. Yeah, I have friends who smoke dope, who inhale god-knows-what, but I don't do those things. And in reality... no one is perfect. Everyone has flaws. Everyone is that sad little Eeyore... well, I guess I could have used a better example but hopefully you know what I mean.
The one part that truly hit me was this part right here:
People see your statue like features,
Judging without a word.
Ignoring what they don't see,
The faulty girl inside your plastic shell.
The imagery in your poem was fantastic and I absolutely loved your last line. It really did fit everything together, wrapping it up perfectly. You did a great job. ^_^
<3 Lullaby.
-
WOW!!!
Excellent write, like it all...
Thnx for entering & best of luck
GloriousGift
Heba -
powerful emotional poem very well penned thankyou for entering good luck powerful emotion
-
I long for that same feeling of acceptance but for some it in an unattainable dream.... well written, hit right in my heart
Thank you for taking the time to enter your favourite prewrite in this contest, I wish you the very best of luck
Karen -
very nice wright thanks bunches for entering love lots..xoxox
-
Your first verse gives me a very dry aspect of a fake face and spiritless person. Well described. This entire write is fearless in addressing this world of "plastic dreams".
I've devoured every part of this write and it is quite good. Thank you
-
wow. so no matter what she/it was, it wouldn't be accepted. It's so sad, but still so true, as you say in your last line: "acceptance is just a dream". I like that you made a poem on that prompt, without making it a complain from you. You made it this way, which is so much better and gets to the reader. I love that!
-
This is an AMAZING poem and and an amazing topic to write about. I can totally relate and I yearn for a world that will accept us for who we really are.
-
Wow. What a powerful poem you've written here. 'alone you stand there an image of perfection, trying to shed a tear, wanting to be human', words that pierce the heart. Thank you so much for the entry in my contest.
Adding your comment:
1 - 15 of 15
