She leaned, forlorn against a weathered wall
No hall to fill with song.
Slender neck, adorned in scrolls of curl,
poised itself in wait of charm extended--
for strings had not yet dimpled at fingers deft,
nor had she known the spring of ample stroking.
He came to her, with understanding hand
and eyes that fell at frame of curving grace
and dared to stretch his touch to sleekest sides
--her perfectly contoured hourglass,
swollen, for want of play--
and at his lasting trace
her tips edged shyly upward, to be encompassed whole.
When she warmed
and whispered awakened, soft vibrations
he brought his bow, aloft, to supple strings
to slide in flowing motion
above the bending bridge.
With movement skilled he met her lack
caressing back and forth
in gentle adagio that eased woes
and oozed pianissimo through swirled openings
dusting her with richest resin
until she swooned in soothing phrase,
surrendering to his gift.
Mellowed vibrato swelled
and vigor grew
as he persisted
in passion’s modulation
with sweet allegro strokes
and deeper still
'till every space
of hollowed belly resounded
with rigorous crescendo,
filling,
Telling love’s concerto.
She rested in exquisite song
of satisfied fermata
and he knew,
through satiated quiet,
she was hand crafted
to sound his music.
In a list
- 2-Silvers • next in list
- 1-Golds • next in list
- 0-Personal Favorites • next in list
- Love Poems • next in list
- Sensual • next in list
A contest entry
- MUSE ABUSE II : INTERNAL RHYME, AND ALLITERATION by Everwind Rising.
450 points, ended September 12, 2007, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~ 1st Round ~ of 5 Rounds ~ Anything goes 1st Round - 30 or 40 entries will advance to round 2 - Time is running out~ HURRY! by Florida Sunshine.
450 points, ended October 28, 2007, 36 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your BEST Prewrite! - For Mike [degarmo] - by Never Fall in Love.
950 points, ended October 29, 2007, 146 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Favorites - Your best Prewrites by Cupcrazy.
1000 points, ended January 17, 33 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Triple My Double-Gold by Tangled Angle.
450 points, ended March 7, 12 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - GIVE ME YOUR GOLD - MUST HAVE WON TWO GOLDS OR MORE, CONTEST #74 by Roaddog Wolf.
850 points, ended May 14, 25 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 66 of 66
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This is a lovely write.
I liked how you used a cello as a metaphor.
The usage of words is wonderful.
Well-done!
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simply stellar
Oh beautiful. Reminds me of my Pianist poem but 1000x better. you deserve all those trophies!
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Wow.
In it's entirity, downright amazing.
But the first few stanzas were my favorite...great opening.
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Whoa!
You totally blew me away!
I absolutely LOVE your clever use of musical terminology and how you once again had a lyrical feel to the overall poem.
Your words flow like a graceful waterfall over the edge of a mountain smoothed with the chisels of time.
You speak with such strength and wisdom.
I am fascinated... and happy to have stumbled across your page.
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Thank you so very much for your kind assessment of my poem and my writing. It is very encouraging!
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Well done, the personification is terrific, and I enjoyed the wordplay as much as the allusions. This is my favorite stringed instrument. Congratulations for multiple trophies!
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Flat out gorgeous, I LOVED it hugs, Bunny
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Magnificence.. A line so edged and thin at best, between music and love.. They caress so alike, 'tis easy to become undecided on the better.. Yet, with penning such as this ~ what need is there to decipher one, from the other? BEAUTIFUL...
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Wow over the top good~ I really enjoyed this~ it's elegant like the instrument.... Nice write~ congrats on your previous win~ this is quite good!
Thanks for entering my round contest ~ good luck to you! -
Ten, all I can say is that is is amazing! I am so so so sorry it took me so long to comment after you asked if I would like to. Been busy, so I'm sure you understand. I just have to say that I am happy I got a chance to read this finally. It is wondering. Congrats on the gold also.
Chelsea
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gosh no wonder you won gold! this is amazingly written, very well done xx
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thank you for sharing your talent with me through this wonderful write. i wish you well in the contest that we both have entered. i am looking forward to reading more from you in the near future. viyanna rosemarie
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Wonderful!
My oh my, I am in awe of your writes, hope you are getting published! Wonderfully personified the Cello is personified as your lady, in very carefull under hand adult tems speaking of such passionate encounter throughout. It actually causes the reader to readily wander which it is that you really write of the cello, your lady, or is the cello indeed your lady? To actually pull quotes on this poem would distract from the beauty of the rest, fair to say it is imagery packed. Wonderful!
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Splendid
I found that apparently I came to your poem and talked all about myself! I meant to tell you how well written this is, but I'm sure you gathered. I just read it to my husband, along with my own. Very well done. -
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Quite alright! Your poem was beautiful as well!
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Thats really good, I love the way rhar you use music jargon like 'cresendo' and 'pianissimo', your a truly fantastic poet and deserve to be internationally published.
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Thanks, so much, nick, for your great comment on my poem. Internationally published, hmmm, well that sounds nice, alright, but I don't know about it. I really appreciate your wonderful comment and am so glad you enjoyed the piece.
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A most beautiful write...I will never forget this!
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I clicked on this because the description sounded so much like my cello poem- I bet you'd like it. http://allpoetry.com/poem/478584
I wonder how many cello poems there are that run with the same idea? Yours uses many more experienced musical terms, mine is more of a layman's take on a cello in the arms of the man who loves her.
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Absolutely amazing. I'm floored.
As a fellow cellist, and can relate to the feelings described. This was so beautifully written! Haha, I think I may go play mine now =]
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I'm so glad that you, a cellist, could be touched by this piece. There is nothing quite like music to expression the passion in our hearts. I'm so glad you enjoyed the piece. Thanks for your kind comment.
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Damn! That's all I can say... this was totally way beyond amazing... the cello is an amazing instrument and the way you described this is just wow! Definately an AMAZING POEM! xoxo Meg
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Excellent!
"And he knew
Through satiated quiet
She was hand crafted
To sound his music."
Oh this is beautiful and no wonder there is a gold trophy attached to this poem. Just yesterday I visited a music shop with my son (he plays piano) and saw a cello standing there against a wall. What wonderful application of metaphor here that is both so very romantic and sensual. Loved the soft touches of pianissimo, the slow adagio of lovemaking and the vibrato of passion. Isn't it amazing how one person can "play" and change us, create us? I've known this too. Excellent poetry!!
~ Nicolette
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I really appreciate your beautiful comments on Cello, Nicollette. It is always nice to hear that others pick up on the emotion and purpose of something you write. Yes, it is truly amazing how one person can "play" us, sometimes quite unexpectedly. Thank you for your kind comment. I'm so glad you connected with this one.
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excellent expression
Your words express the tender adoration that a musician has for his instrument. Your imagery was excellent, and the emotion is very powerful.
Ethereal One
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Thank you so much for your comment upon Cello. I'm so glad you were able feel the words of the poem, and I'm very appreciative for your visit and great comment.
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amazing amazing incredable
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Well, thank you for your kind expression of appreciation for my work. I'm so glad you were able to take something from it.
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excellent
Not one bit suprised this piece won gold. Beauty only can define d craftin and brilliance d attribute of d artist. i loved every bit of this. thanks.
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I'm so glad you enjoyed this Cello piece. Thank you so much for your gracious visit to my work!!!
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excellent
Not one bit suprised this piece won gold. Beauty only can define d craftin and brilliance d attribute of d artist. i loved every bit of this. thanks.
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Each time I find a poem
written as beautifully as this,
I feel like I have just received
a surprise gift This is just
amazing...Love, Lane
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Thanks so much, Lane, for visiting my Cello poem. I'm so glad it touched you. And as for it being a gift, well, Happy Birthday to You, early, late, however you like it.
Thanks again for your lovely comment!!
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SOOO awesome
I absolutely luuuuuuv it!!!
I play the cello and its awesome so... yeah
Amazing -
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The cello is a beautiful instrument! I'm so glad you enjoyed the poem. Thank you so much for visiting my piece and for taking time to comment.
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Lovely poem
I lovely poem and i enjoyed reading it more than once. I love the words you have used and the way you have used them. thanks for sharing your thoughts.
all the best
perdix
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Thank so much for your kind comment upon my poem. I am glad you enjoyed it.
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This is one of the very best pieces I have read on these pages in my 5+ years as a member. It is rare to find something written with such beauty. You captured what this instrument is all about , and that the dedication to it and music in general is that of bonding and passion [beyond of what most consider it to be]I am assuming that you are a cello player...or maybe another instrument. One thing I am sure of...you understand the language of such [music that is]Thank you for this beautiful start to my weekend
reenie
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Thank you so much for visiting my poem. I did play the cello when I was young and have always regretted stopping. I do love music and the passion of music, however. I really appreciate your beautiful comments.
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Oh WOW I haven't read such a stunning and so exquisitely crafted piece in so so long. You are so very talented and this poem is a masterpiece.
I love the way you engaged the cello and player and how the intimacy between them grew. These two were waiting for the other and completed each other in such a yearning manner.
WOW!
Congratulations on this so well deserved gold.
gaylene
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Oh, Gaylene, you're always so very complimentary. Thank you so much for visiting this piece. It is one of my favorites for it truly expresses my heart. I'm so glad I was able to touch you with it. Thanks, as always, for you kind words.
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amazing ...
not only have you revealed the intimacy of the sacred encounter between a cellist and his/her instrument in a truly stunning manner, but the double sense of each word in this poetic masterpiece makes the mystical embrace of the lover and the beloved a holy symphony that far surpasses worldly sensuality and ecstasty ...
excellent ...
maa
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Marion,thank you so much for your kind words and insightful comments. It's always a pleasure to have you visit my work. This is one of my favorites, so I am especially thankful for your gracious review.
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this is absolutely wonderful...
the descriptions, everything so vivid and life-like within this scene that I feel I can almost climb in and touch it... you must be a true lover of music, I've never read anything written for an instrument before that expressed such, I'm not sure if these are the right words, adoration and devotion to a craft or an art form... this just exudes such tenderness and appreciation and the internal rhyme and alliteration were subtly used, not overwhelming... positively sublime!
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Thanks so very much for your fabulous comment on my poem. I'm so glad you could appreciate it's beauty and that you picked up on some of the things that make this piece special to me. You're comment was exceptional, and I appreciate you visiting my work.
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WOW
This is an absolutely amazing poem. I myself play cello and I feel inspired to write now. How you made such a piecce bewilders me. The cello is such a sensual instrument. WELL DONE.
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I ADORE the cello with her low, smooth sounds! I'm so glad I was able to capture the beautiful fell her her music to a cellist's satisfaction. Thank you so much for your kind comment.
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Wow, this poem really does give life to the musical instrument. It describes playing the cello in a very beautiful, intimate way. The description is elegant and amazing. I also play the cello, it is a majestic instrument. Wonderful poem!
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So glad you took time to visit my piece. I LOVE the cello, though I have not played in many years. I'm glad a cellist,then, was able to enjoy my work.
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So glad you steered me...I love musical verse...and the is a symphony of hearts written as masterpiece...so deserving of the gold...or ten golds...
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Thanks so much, Rich for visiting this piece. Your approving comments speak a lot to me. So glad you enjoyed it.
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Oh, and it should be...this is one of the most beautiful sacredly sweet music'd sensual poems I have read.... brava!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Carol, I'm not sure if I have thanked you yet or not for visiting my Cello poem and for leaving such a lovely comment. I really appreciate you giving your valued opinion and I'm so glad you enjoyed the poem.
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yes well deserving of gold
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Thanks so much WB for you kind comment!!!! Glad you liked it.
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anytime, a very beautiful rendering
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this is something to be proud of, a beautiful piece of art here; wonderfully personified, this cello becomes mistress to the mastery of skilled hands; the romantic allusions are passionate, appealing and in the end, beautiful music demands an encore... wonderful writing here, subtle internal rhyme wonderful choices of words, most expressive.. thank you...PK
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Thanks so much, PK, for taking a second to visit this piece. I really appreciate your kind comments. Encore,hmmm?? Thinking. . .
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Wow,
How you took this instrument, and made it play the tune of you, is just amazing. Love the way you pen from within, and I admire your works. Thanks for sharing, and congrates on a well weaved together piece my friend. You deserved, and earned that Gold.
Much love, Timothy aka poeticweaver~
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Thanks Tim. Your visits to my work are always so encouraging!
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Beautifully imagined, beautifully written. Effective literally and metaphorically, especially "gentle adagio that eased woes
and oozed pianissimo through swirled openings"
Worth reading and re-reading. Congratulations.
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Engaging emotional, passionate metaphor of the beautiful cello and her soulmate. Very nice use of alliteration. The internal rhyme was so well done it didn't stand out to flag-down the reader's notice, or interrupt the flow. In fact, I forgot that was part of the contest, and had to go back and look for it, and I am sure I didn't notice all that was there...
Loved your "dusting her with richest resin" and "scrolls of curl". Great piece!
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Thanks so much, Diane, for your (as usual)kind, insightful comments. I love that you said the alliteration and internal rhyme wasn't overstated. That's what I was going for, but it's a real challenge sometimes. I think dusting her with richest resin was probably my favorite line of the piece too. Im glad you enjoyed my little musical interlude.
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Superbly written. Lyrical, emotional, and well developed in metaphorical content. (Only flaw is that cellos don't have frets.) Alliteration and internal rhyme are excellent and enhance the emotion of the piece rather than distract from it. Phrasing is perfect and the musical terms are well chosen. Very original take on the prompt.
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Stunning work, I adored this piece, beautiful alliteration and internal rhyme, wonderfully crafted metaphor with emotion, this is just beautiful, Bravo...
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