I've got a feeling
And it's taking its toll
I'm caught up in a riptide
Of an emotional rift
I've been casting out prayers
Into the greater beyond
While the future lays submerged
And the words lost in translation
Still the white noise in my head
Threatens to expand and explode
It fills me up with its' static
Like worlds that collide
So much for the pleasure and pain
I've been tilting at windmills
And shadows in the dark
It's all automatic
When I'm so deep in static
I've been thinking at night
Sending out thoughts and refrains
Writing down messages deciphering the vibes
I listen to the static and noise
Their meanings are hidden
In whorls and swirls
And the shadows in the dark
It's all automatic
When I'm so deep in static
Don't get exposed to their radio waves
It's a plot to undermine us all
And steal our secrets away
You may think it's all static and noise
But the truth is much darker
So please don't ask me to explain
Because the white noise in my head
Threatens to expand and explode
It fills me up with its' static
Like worlds that collide
So much for the pleasure and pain
I've been tilting at windmills
And shadows in the dark
It's all automatic
When I'm so deep in static
It's all automatic
When I'm so deep in static
It's all automatic
When I'm so deep in static
It's all automatic
When I'm so deep in static...
Author notes
lyrics by myriad-dark (D E Barnett)
A contest entry
- I won't let you fall away. (Quotes and Titles) by Restless and True.
450 points, ended September 12, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Amaze Me by Crazy-Dan.
450 points, ended October 15, 2007, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Favourite Poem (for prewrites only) by Seeking Peace.
450 points, ended September 8, 2007, 61 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites that dont suck. by parachute fog.
400 points, ended October 20, 2007, 93 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - you cant handle this by lee-sharp.
300 points, ended October 9, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - hmmm by katie-jo.
450 points, ended November 3, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PW parade by birch.
300 points, ended October 26, 2007, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - No Rules (NO ADULT/EROTICA I CANT READ) by Nicotine Eyes.
525 points, ended November 15, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-writes & Fresh Writes Welcome Here! by LadyUnique.
300 points, ended January 17, 2008, 65 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I by N e a r.
2300 points, ended February 3, 2008, 220 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - round one (for everyone) prewrite contest ENTER ENTER ENTER (AND YES THAT MEAN'S YOU too by serenity silvermoon.
927 points, ended February 16, 1509 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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You send out a surge, a rush of power with your repetition in the ending lines and stanzas!
I was sitting on the edge of my seat with this one.
Exceptional work!
Thanks for entering. Good luck.
-
'It's all automatic
When I'm so deep in static'
i liked those lines
you've written this as a song huh?
i think it would work very well that way. maybe tighten it up and get rid of useless words.
thank you for entering and good luck
-
great descriptive write has some great imagery as well i wish you the best of luck in the contest as well as in your future writes keep up the great work and keep the pen flowing
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BEST OF LUCK!
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i AGREE, WELL DONE
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this generally wouldn't be my thing, but i actually can acknowledge that you did this very well. it held the lyrical quality that it should, and was impressive in that nature. thank you for this entry. dusty
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these are really good lyrics. i could hear music for it in my head. i liked this.
thank you for entering and good luck in the contest.
~katiebird -
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yes
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I could definitely hear the music as I read this... the lines "Like worlds that collide / So much for the pleasure and pain / I've been tilting at windmills" really rock.
(Okay, this is nitpicky, but it's " its, " not " its' " in the 2nd line. That really doesn't take away from the lyrics at all, it just made me blink a few extra times.)
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I could hear the music for this one plaing in my head, wonderful entry... thank you
Thank you for taking the time to enter your favourite prewrite in this contest, I wish you the very best of luck
Karen -
U made me think that i listen to too much music but nothing else, you made me think, good job

But really, I can see this being turned into a great song, it may not have amazed me but impressed me it did indeed. Great job with the lryics, I want some vocals and a good bass with this and you could hit the charts.
I'm going to put you in finalist, you'll at the very least make Honorable Mention of sure. -
i liked it! i love the repitition of the lines "it's all automatic/when i'm so deep in static"

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"It's all automatic
When I'm so deep in static"
Nice.
~SweetAmber~
1 - 14 of 14











