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♥Whirlwind of Love♥

Like waves crashing upon ocean sands;

I am swept away into your heart more. 

Seeping deeper into our whirlwind of love.

 

Like caresses from the wind,

your lips brush against mine,

fire erupts, like lightning on clouds. 

 

Like rain hitting the ground,

my tears cascade smoothly;

creating a ravine of happiness. 

 

Like silken petals on a rose,

your touch is the softest ever;

leaving my mind in a daze. 

 

Like colors on a white canvas,

we paint our life so beautifully,

such perfection nobody else has.

 

Like two diamond rings,

light shines from our eyes;

and even more from our hearts'.

 

Like a snow covered path,

our souls met in sacred unity,

bringing warmth for each other. 

 

~♥~

 

I never knew dreams,

could be reality;

until we met.

 

Unlike a fairytale, it's reality,

our love will be legendary;

until the stars no longer shine. 

 

I will love you beyond death,

until my lungs hold no more air.

Forever we shall always dance,

in our whirlwind of love. 

Author notes

The option that says "about someone you love"

O u r x B e g i n n i n g

In a list

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 58 of 58

  • lesbian-in-love
    September 14
    Edit | Reply
    This was really good. Liked the way it flowed. You were added to the finalists. Thanks for entering and good luck!


  • Genevieve79
    September 13

    Edit | Reply
    Very nice, oh to capture that rapture And have it be more than imagination! Things like this keep us dreaming.... good luck!


  • Menna
    March 28
    Edit | Reply
    Very moving, loving the love


  • Captain Jenny
    March 23
    Edit | Reply
    Stunning. Another amazing write. Thanks for entering

    ~Lae


  • willowprincess
    May 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    so powerful and emotional. this is true love.
    i love the lines:
    "I never knew dreams,
    could be reality;
    until we met."
    you speak the words in my mind.


  • Blissfullhatred silver member
    May 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I love it!


  • sheltered
    May 18, 2008
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    Exploring simile's of love.
    Excellent. Congrats.


  • movedon
    April 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow what a beautiful write! you should be very proud of this. It was very strong. I loved the feeling you can give to the readers. You have a great gift. Keep on using it!

    SPreading some love
    miley


  • Entwining Beauty
    November 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    amazingly written good luck


  • Celticjedi
    November 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful, sensational and amazing. This poem couldn't be any more unique or any more what I wanted. Thank you for your fantastic entry, keep up the good work.
    Loves,
    Cj


  • u took my user name
    November 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Like silken petals on a rose,

    your touch is the softest ever;

    leaving my mind in a daze.


    i don't think the third line follows too well there. but that's just my opinion.

    also:

    "Like colors on a white canvas,

    we paint our life so beautifully,

    such perfection nobody else has."
    i don't think the last line there follows too well either since the previous description is so delicate


    "I will love you beyond death,

    until my lungs hold no more air."
    the sequence of the lines there is not so good, i think... considering that while lungs hold air... u'r alive... and... well... yeah, beyond death is way way way way more in the distance that at the moment lungs don't hold air. with the first line it seems like u'r saying that even when nothing physical remains there, i'll still love you.
    and the second line, is too emidiate

    nice poem, overall. i do like it.. i think it generally flows well.
    whirlwind of love works nicely to


  • Nicole Cudworth
    November 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Unlike a fairytale, it's reality,

    our love will be legendary;

    until the stars no longer shine.



    I will love you beyond death,

    until my lungs hold no more air.

    Forever we shall always dance,

    in our whirlwind of love.


    Your words say it all! Love and luck in all you endeavor!


  • misticmoonlite gold member
    September 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    very caring write here

    I love the imingery,the deep compassion within the words,vision of walking through the poem is contentment in the end. good luck in the contest and thanks for entering..mm


  • The-Bounty-Hunter
    September 5, 2007

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    awwwww!!!!

    oh my god lol a tear came to my eye lol im so sad u made me remember and think of someone i love lol great write..excellent!! cant even find words to describe it u should be proud of yourself for writing this!!! its brilliant!!! it really touched my heart =>
    go you!!! woo!!.. ok ill shutup now..


  • lover and hater
    September 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Amazing!

    Amazing!

    I can hardly put my feelings into words for this poem its just so beautiful, the imagery was just so wonderful and thoughtful. It really just feels good It paints a mood! Im usually only into sad and despair lonley poems you know but it is just really good im very impressed.


  • autumns rising
    September 3, 2007
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    simply gorgeous. You did a great job with painting the picture of your love. Awesome mom ♥


  • yourhot21
    September 1, 2007
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    wow!

    This is awesome! You do a great job of creating a visual in every line! Fabuloso


  • Magik
    September 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    ABSOLUTELY INCREBILBE!!!!!! possibly the best poem I've ever read on allpoetry!!! I know how you feel too!!! the perfect love is incredible! it makes me happy! I just wanna hug you for writing this! lol anyway...I like the concept of a whirlwind of love, and manyof the metphors ect in this piece are just beautifully depicted!! most excellent write!

  • Princess-Cihaupilli
    August 31, 2007
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    omg!!! I loved it so much it really touches ur heart
    u did really good. keep writing.

  • OverzelousZion
    August 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I love .."Unlike a fairytale, it's reality"
    So beautiful, overflowing with fierce energy and makes one wish they could feel such Strong and loving emotion. Beautiful!

    Zion_77

  • eternal-devotion
    August 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Intensely Passionate

    My first impression is this is very passionate and well done. Emotionally this draws upon the delicate feelings of love that two people share. This is not awkward and as such should not be changed. My favorite part is the second verse and I can just picture it in my mind. There is no part that I dislike. The title is perfect for this, and the first line sets this off very well. The last line sums this wonderfully. I really liked this.

  • cherchezlafemme
    August 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Bautiful poet is this is beyond compare bauty! It is a lot to take that once you have to read it slowly and aunahine in power of creese from words or carving, lips amd wind line, miruclous passion of passions and praised happiness in longing sunshine. Lsgendary somtimes in rasvising love in times of swriling times. Lotso f beautiful images and ideas to dream bout. Thank you. Love my husband alayws. I would love my husband beyond death and a whirlwind of love and dace! xx


  • storiesuntold gold member
    August 30, 2007
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    Beautiful

    Such a heartfelt piece you penned here


  • WhiteLepoard
    August 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I guess I can't say much that hasn't already been said except - Wow. Amazing poem, I would like to use this on me and my love's anniversary to read to him if you don't mind. Thank you for writing the feelings I couldn't express in words.


  • Sabir Abdus Samee
    August 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful

    This is a beautiful poem.I have a poem by the same name.

  • restful.soul
    August 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    a beautiful love poem x well written, maybe a few more adjectives would make it extra special for example, like caresses from the wind could be 'like soft caresses from the wind' sometimes one word goes a long way x well written


  • Midnight Raeven
    August 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Wow

    This was simply beautifully written. You are an amzing poet to express your love for that one special person so wonderfully. Your dedication to the person you love is amazing. Such beauty found in love always makes me think about the love that I share with my husband. May your love be blessed with many years and may happiness always find you both.

    this is my favorite stanza in the poem, it stuck out to me the most.

    Like a snow covered path,
    our souls met in sacred unity,
    bringing warmth for each other.

    It is beautiful, the imagery you added to this poem to display your love left me speachless. Congratulations on your love. Keep up the writing, you are amazing. I am going to add you to my favorites if you don't mind. Dreaming of finding the one that we are all destined to be with and actually finding them is what makes life worth living.

    Always,
    Amadahy Rayne

    • OurxBeginning
      August 30, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much! Best comment I've gotten thus far. =] May your love last many years as well!

      • Midnight Raeven
        August 30, 2007
        Edit | Reply
        Well it is a wonderful poem, I am just glad that I saw it on the features. You are an amazing poet! Thank you for sharing, I plan on adding you to my favorites and reading more of your works.

        Amadahy


  • crystallynnbradford
    August 30, 2007

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    I like this piece...it's very well written and it is well put otgether in the format ant the font is easy to read...good job


  • La Luna Rosa
    August 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    The form is well done, though sometimes you get rather carried away with the similes and metaphors. However, it is eloquent, and still probably one of the better of its kind. (The hearts in the name are a little tacky.)

    Note: Please excuse the extra posts, computer problems.


  • guttermouth
    August 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is, truly, a great write. Very sensual, almost sexual. Not many poems touch me emotionally and this one certain has. I don't see one bad line in there, and that's rare. Treasure this and write on!

  • sadafmb
    August 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    your poem truly touched my heart. keep on writing :


  • luvpoet
    August 30, 2007

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    AWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

    that is so sweet, loved the poem
    so emotional and full of love
    great piece, thanks for the read

    luvpoet

  • Celestial1
    August 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Sorry, forgot the applause

  • Celestial1
    August 30, 2007
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    Magical description of love unparalleled.


  • KissMeGoodnight
    August 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    oOoOoOo woooooow. i am still in a daze. this ia absolutely amazing!! wooowww!!! you really did great with this one. gorgeous imagery and...this is just plain gorgeous!!


  • awannabepoet
    August 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Wonderfull ode to love

    Love is the fruit of all the good in this world, of the truest of its forms you do speak. The love that bonds two souls together throughout the expanse of time is a timeless and precious pearl indeed.

    Let your beating hearts unite that you might yet show us mere mortals how love can truly conquer all.

    I like it, I like it so.


  • rollingzen
    August 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    ' love is all there is, it makes the world go round...love and only love ,it can't be denied, no matter what you think about it, you can't live without it...take a tip from one who's tried' bob dylan


  • vibiesh
    August 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Let love rule the world

    Hi My friend That was so Romantic
    Keep writing
    Blessings
    Vibiesh Chungath Venugopal


  • allfivehorizons
    August 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    i love the similies... very well written


  • MidnightPoet545
    August 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful

    I can feel the love that you have with that special someone, such a beautiful poem and so very well written.


  • thething
    August 30, 2007

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    Amazing.

    So beautiful i can feel the feelings of this poem and i think anyone reading would want to feel this way.. its such a flowing poem i would to see more like this.
    Thank you for sharing this.


  • poet girl
    August 30, 2007
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    You really painted a beautiful picture with your words, poet. Very smooth and flowing.


  • ebaby
    August 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this is a very lovely poem I really like this part......Like a snow covered path,

    our souls met in sacred unity,

    bringing warmth for each other.



    ~♥~



    I never knew dreams,

    could be reality;

    until we met.


  • hempmaster2006
    August 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    wonderful

    the comparisons and the metaphors...i loved it a lot. definitely something i would review with students in school!


  • Puking Faerie Dust gold member
    August 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
    This was was so romantic and just dripping with true love. You guys are so cute, and I'm so happy for the both of you! You two are more than perfect for each other, and you both have something that no one else has. Lovely write, hunny, this was beautiful
    Love you Jeanette*~


  • Dragons Lady
    August 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    A beautiful poem full of romance and desire. This has such wonderful flow and imagery, like a love song. Beautifully written. Love it.


  • Driven by Death
    August 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this is a beautiful poem and i think it's perfect

  • MxA
    August 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    myspace comments
    I Love You MySpace Comments


  • Silly Rabbit.
    August 29, 2007

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    This is absolutely beautiful. A truly moving piece. I love the way you compared your love with everyday things. Simply beautiful. Keep up the good work.

  • MxA
    August 29, 2007

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    My beautiful wife this is so amazing, you literally have my heart beating out of control You always have me speechless the beauty within your words are so touching just makes me cry so much I love you so much gorgeous more than words can possibly say the feeling to this is so extraordinary so out of this world just like you angel, just like us What we have is so rare to find My heart is screaming I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! with each beat it makes thanks you for this remarkable piece my love




    Forever And Always, just us♥


  • StarEyes
    August 29, 2007

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    First of all darling, why is this not in a contest? This is amazing!!!

    "I will love you beyond death,
    until my lungs hold no more air."

    How romantic is that line? That is just beyond words and well sounds like me... hehe. Great job on this one!!!

    Love it!!!

    *Hug* and much love

    Mom


  • lucy-lovemenot
    August 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Awesome

    "Like waves crashing upon ocean sands;

    I am swept away into your heart more.

    Seeping deeper into our whirlwind of love."

    Great verse.
    Makes me think about my ex boyfriend that chucked me yesterday.
    Beautiful :]


  • allienadnoahcalhoun
    August 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    sweet

    my favourite line is "i will love you beyond death, until my lungs hold no more air." even tho it seems contradictory to me.. i loved that line even thought i don't really understand it..


  • magloveschrist
    August 29, 2007

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    holy cow

    this poem has great emotion. it really hit home for me. this is an awesome poem. keep up the great work. can't wait to read more poems by you. I'm going to favorite you.


  • irishmidnight
    August 29, 2007

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    WOW!!!

    I'm...speachless...it's gorgeous!! Absolutely breath taking...Makes me want to cry...such beauty and striaght from the heart...god i love it!! LOL..ill shut up now..beautiful..keep it up!!!


  • Rothman
    August 29, 2007
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    BEAUTIFUL.......I enjoyed reading this one.

1 - 58 of 58