In the distance, an animal howls
A slash of lightening
Violently rips across the sky
Once this was holy, sacred ground
Now senseless lies darkly spill
along with the rain
She falls to her knees in torment
As he rips out her beating heart
Her hands cover her ears
Against her own unbearable screams
She is gutted without mercy
Her illusions agonizingly torn away
Grief-stricken, awful, pitiful wails
Escape her wounded soul
Still, she crawls to her knees praying
Pleading to nothing and no one
Because she is sure
Even God can’t hear her now
Blood runs from her eyes and ears
She writhes, eviscerated
In the thunderous squall
He has scrawled his name in her blood
Until finally, she is changed
On this terrible night
Cruelly, she realizes she will live
Endure an empty soul
Stripped of what was beyond precious
What was perfect and pure
Even sacred to her
Perhaps he was always clothed in lies
But as she stood before him naked
Wearing only the truth
Wouldn't she have heard a lie?
She is humiliated, but she is not dead
She will not die for what was not holy
Her cries slowly cease
Rubbing the blood from her eyes
She sees with a clarity almost frightening
There is someone on whom she can depend
Someone has heard her, afterall
She will live, she will save herself
Alone, in safety, she will learn again
What sacred really is
Author notes
Option 3, Quotes: *I gave you something precious and small, you accepted it, broke it, and then watched it fall apart
A contest entry
- Sacred PIF - Morning Contest by CarolDesjarlais.
700 points, ended August 29, 2007, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Darken Us Up with Your Comedic Genius and Romantic Attitude by So Strange.
1000 points, ended September 7, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Wow
Fantastic visuals, what a story, even if I wasn't sure I correctly deduced what exactly was going on. She learned how you have to go through pain to grow spiritually, maybe? But I did like it. Somehow it seemed also to speak of seeing through the lies of some religions. I hope I don't sound stupid, I thought it was very vivid and very well done.
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Amazing
wow. you took my quote and did very well with it! congrats on that much. Good luck in the contest. This is a great piece. -
Oh this truly does wrap this us....we do...we do..and we larn the depth of how we are gifts to the world.
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So deeply moving! Powerful and filled with vivid imagery! Loved it!
Peace~
Az
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Thanks, AZ!
I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment on this. I'll RTF.
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wow!
This is awesome! Full of great wording, emotion, feeling - a really great read!
Good luck in your contest! But I'd say - this is a winner!
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Hey, aboomer!
Thank you for reading this and letting me know your thoughts on it. It's always good to hear from you, and I will RTF.
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Amazing
I believe the first stanza sets the right tone for the piece, but it's my least favorite of the whole. I can truly relate to this. I've fallen from grace many times over and your voice is the only one so far that has expressed it so clearly and brutally honest. Thank you for sharing. I'm bookmarking this =).
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Thanks!
You honor me with your comment and by bookmarking. Many thanks. -
Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to let me know how it felt to you.
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this so speaks to me of mother earth. Maybe to balance off, you could add another stanza last or before your stanza as it is last now, and show what makes it live....suddenly the ending felt so rushed...
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Thank you for spending the time to read and comment on it. I probably will do that. I was rushed. I spent my time writing a poem that rhymed. Once I realized my error, I quickly had to adapt it to free verse. It was fun. Thanks for the contest!
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I didn't know whether to take this literally or in an interpretive manner. Either way, the words regarding transformation are applicable in so many things, as that is a dark process for most of us resistant to change. Nicely done.
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Why is it the only way I learn anything is to do it wrong first?!! I'm sorry; this comment was not aimed at you. I was frustrated over not being able to delete this comment thing once I pulled it up again!
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Thank you for reading the poem and commenting on it.
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really good job
wow
this has all the makings of the introduction to a sensational, albeit, scary movie
but
i applaud you for your imagery and talent
there is really so much here
and
it gets better as it is reread
to be brief
it has all the makings of a rebirth
the reader can decide of what kind
spirituality, relationship, friend, etc
that's what makes it more pronounced
double wow -
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Thanks, fraankie! It was an agonizing re-birth!
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