swimming ducks ripple
the upside-down reflections
of the distant shore
two pairs of black swans
showing white tipped wings take off
from the rippling lake
in the watery light
of this cold new morning all
seems fresh and unsoiled
Author notes
5-7-5 syllable count
A contest entry
- PIF - nature please by kkatie55.
475 points, ended August 29, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Haiku Contest by misticmoonlite.
675 points, ended September 24, 2007, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Short Poems by Pollycheck.
450 points, ended May 26, 2008, 179 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Thank you for entering my short poems contest. This is a well written haiku chain, but aI think you need to look at the syllable count.
in the watery light = 6 vice 5 -
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In this part of the world watery is pronounced as wart-ry (2 syllables)
I can insert a hyphen (wat-ry) if you feel it necessary.
Thanks for commenting.
Shenton
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