Floating and spinning,
At the winds whim,
Whipped up and tossed again,
Thrown in a spin.
Adrift in life's inquest,
Amidst false cries,
In turmoil and tragedy,
Wasted hope lies.
Anxiety chokes me, as I try,
Grasping for something, born to fly...
Author notes
Please be honest, i am not sure where I am at???
The poem speaks for itself, but me???????
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A contest entry
- to prompt your muse again by Lavender Butterfly.
410 points, ended August 31, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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I really love how well this poem flowed. It made me think of the ocean. All I can say is 'well done'
[Thanks for the comment on my poem by the way. ;-)]
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tumult of turmoil, the frustration of attempting to describe the inexpressible, ending with the positive affirmation - born to fly - you do.
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This poem is deep and it has that artistic spin on it, which is great when reading poems. This could be about so many different things we all go through in life, it definitely relates. Nice job :]
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Yeah thrown into a spin sounds better but you are right, it is a syllable thing!!
Thanks for the comments all the same!! -
i just reread it and one suggestion...don't take it to heart, this is YOUR poem, after all...
I would change "Thrown in a spin" to " Thrown into a spin", but maybe it fits into some sort of syllabalic scheme...? -
whoa!
This is an amazing poem! Short, yes, but so full of figurative language that it says everything I believe it was intended to say...very good write, very good read
I like this...and that IS my honesty
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Interesting
I think you can go a lot of different places in your mind depending on where you are at the moment your read the poem. Set Them Free and the poem itself reminds me of someone stuggling with addiction! The first line floating and spinning a form of dissassocation then the last line Grasping for something, born to fly.... It hurts though for me this poem for I can relate it to my son and his struggles and now he is gone. Thank you for sharing your gift to write poetry with me! stavykm
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This is very well written. I am
impressed
I don't know you but
I do know this...anyone who can
write a poem that makes me sit back
and think...is someone worth getting
to know. Love, Lane
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I rather enjoy this piece...
honestly... even the rhyme scheme works well with the topic... closing stanza/last 2 lines are beautiful!
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wow i love this one !!!! it's better than any that i wrote you are now one of my role models!!!! i hope one day to write one like this!!
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Completely profound and filled with meaning... x
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Powerful.
A very profound poem that is full of powerful emotions without direction. I like this turmoiled voice you express so well. Great work mate.
barry
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loved it. the image can be seen in so many ways. the words are real and well chosen. the end is so full of hope and light. i really enjoyed this read. i'm not sure this is the type of comment you were wanting. well done.
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"Man's reach must excede his grasp,or what's a heaven for?" You've expressed this fact quite well in this illustrative piece.
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