My brother struggled with the start of life,
it was an obscure problem with his blood.
Would he live or die, our worry was rife
as a family, we did what we could.
He was a fighter and fought to be strong
With Dad on the road, he looked up to me
A little patience, I taught him ping pong,
and with his progress, I was very pleased.
Both over fifty now, we are full grown,
and separated by this continent.
Though he has never been the one to moan;
I was surprised when he called to lament,
his cancer has returned. It was not fair.
All I could offer was my love and prayer.
Author notes
We have a sister in between, but Tom is my favorite brother.
"Tom" is an option 6 entry
A contest entry
- Sonnets, sonnets, and more sonnets by RatherImaginative.
1925 points, ended September 8, 2007, 40 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options, heaps to choose from by ForgottenMemories.
650 points, ended September 17, 2007, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Families can be like torture at times but sometimes, we cannot see a way around life without our kin.
Cancers, Mental issues, Arrogance and Self-centered attitudes (etc) can bring you down- but all in all, we are but mere humans, we do make mistakes and regardless as to how buggered / twisted / F@#$%d things seem, we are all still family.
This is heartwarming and I can feel it in my soul.
Well done and Peace to you..
Jeffro
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Yes.
The final couplet is good. It's an occasional sonnet, of course, and technically works well. It's not great poetry, but it doesn't have to be. It says what you want to say, and it does that well.
Having had cancer myself, I feel for your brother. I hope it comes out well for him in the end.
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wow this must be really hard to have to deal with! I am so sorry! I hope he is going to be okay!
well you certainly have made me feel what you wrote!
Thanks for entering and good luck!
Sleep-N -
Oh, how tough. Words cannot even express. I will offer no platitudes save one: you have many years and many memories to hold close to you, whatever the outcome. May it be the best one. I hardly dare offer a technical critique of such a touching poem, but your syllable count is perfect. The meter is a touch choppy in places, but your couplet is an amazing finish to this sonnet. Thanks so much for entering my contest!
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Thumbs up
Sorry to hear about your brother, it is a well written poem though I can feel the emotion.
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