Raindrops seep through hollow windows
Dreams come with morning dew
Leaky faucets weep so shallow
Still you remain true blue
False is simply what false believes
Failing to keep a word
One selfless soul cheats and deceives
Is like a mocking bird
Rattling chains, broken hearts crack
A thought thinks you are through
Sweet soul, it's heart he lacks
But you stay you for you
Author notes
Hope and healing sweet soul~ Peace, Timothy~ x
In a list
A contest entry
- Can someone please prove to me there is stil a heart beating inside of me..and that someone will look after it? by x-Black-Butterfly-x.
360 points, ended September 11, 2007, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 49 of 49
-
re-read/comment. sould always stay true to yourself, not changing for any one! mike said i was to pop in
-
AWESOME
i like it -
this reminds me of a short story i read a long time ago about a girl in puertu rico. especially the picture.
it's a great poem, & i'm glad you at least got an hm!
mike said i was to pop in. -
this touched my heart wonderful
all of it -
I loved your poem as a complete piece of poetry. Wise and not outspoken but true to the core. A lovely voice intermingled between the words leaves a comforting feeling.
-
love it is about understanding and forgiving, working through the good and the bad, in the end, surviving everything together, it makes you very strong...wonderful words...thank you for sharing
-
Very good
Very good poem, Interesting poem. Covers a couple of different subjects in a short write. Thanks for a comment that you had left earlier on a poem. Can't remember which one but thanks just the same!
Good luck with your BOOK! I know that you are happy to have it in print!(Trying to finish a few of my own!)
"BOO"
-
Oh - - -
You stay you for you.
Truer words could not be spoken. It was a pleasure to dance within this soft verse of simple truth. The image adds a magical flair, just enough to show what the words true to self can mean.
Beautiful work here. ~Pamela
-
Ever so haunting. A wonderful piece full of imagery, brimming with wonderful vocabulary and great describing words. Very well done! It sent shivers up my spine and made me feel terribly sad, and to be able to change somebody's emotions with a poem is a remarkable talent.
Keep it up!
-
awsome and captivating. I really love this peice.Great Job
-
Great write. I loved it. The rythm is perfect. Your words are deep and suck you into the page, to me that makes a great poem. I love all of your poetry so keep on writing!
-
This is different and well written... i like the feelings it evokes... All the best!
By the way Mike said I was to pop in!
-
Wow few phrases saying so many words inside my head and heart. I cannot pick a favourite piece here for I love it all and above all I love the way hope, consistance, stability and love seem to win through! Kindest wishes. Anna-Marie.
-
"...but you stay true to you."
High praise, indeed, and the formula
for preserving one's identity.
Aesthete
-
Oh oh this is way beautiful the words are so loving and so so true love the flow and the tones makes this a real enjoyable read you have lifted my spirits so I know these words will work for your friend bless you...
-
That is so sweet, and calming. So encouraging even as it points out the misery's sorounding the narrator. I truly felt that poem, it appeared very heartflet, and was very powerful. I truly enjoyed reading it. I love your word usage, and your fantastic use of metaphors, they really are the makeup of this poem. Fantastic job, and I hope you keep writing. Keep up the great poems. Good luck in the contest.
By the way thanks for your comments on my poem, it is very appreciated.
-
This is such a beautiful write. You did such an amazing job with this piece.Thank you for sharing and good luck to you in this contest.Best Wishes
-
This is such a beautiful poem and I loved the picture that goes with this. The rhyme was wonderful and it flowed so smoothly. Great write.
-
Mike said I was to pop in...
Tim:
What else can I say that you do not already know? This piece is thought provoking and totally intense......
It's tenderness touches the reader's heart and conveys a message of hope for a better tomorrow..... Some might think that some of us are weak because we stay, but, to tell the truth sometimes we are stronger because we overcome the tribulations we go through and survive...... Thank you, Tim.
I wish to thank you for sharing with me on this site, and wish you the very best of good luck in the contest.....
Forever AngelicMistress...Tanya
-
Wow, so true. One must remain true to oneself.
Beautiful write, Tim!
-
i was indeed the first to reply so therefore i am here because
Mike asked me to stop by -
Excellent Poem,Indeed
THIS IS A SAD, BUT VERY DEEP, AND GOOD-WRITE. YOU PUT IT ALL, RIGHT ON TOP OF THE TABLE.GREAT ONE!!! 'GOD BLESS'..LOVE, SHIRLEY ANN SHAW-RAYTOWN,MO...P.S. LIKED THE PIC' TOO.......
-
"False is simply what false believes", beautiful words, and very true, this should remind her that her heart still beats, and no one will ever protect it like she does. (mike said I was to pop in)
-
oops
forgot to say I wish I was the dog you are holding.
Smile,
Judy -
a sweet prayer
amazing sweet poet.
smile,
Judy
-
Your so cool...your so fine...its petting time...
Mike said I was to pop in...:)) but you know me, came back to be petted*hug*
-
wow this is amazing utterly amazing ohhh blame mike coz mike said i was to pop in
-
really nice sentiment
very well penned with words of meaningful wisdom.
"A thought thinks you are through
Sweet soul, it's heart he lacks
But you stay you for you" just totally an awesome closing three lines, this should give any broken heart a mending of worth. good write
Mike said I was to pop in’ ... he was right
-
If this disn't prove her heart is still there, nothing will. Beautifully written, Tim. By the way, Mike said I was to pop in.
-
Very nicely written!
WOW - I really loved this poem!! Best of luck to you in this contest!!! BTW, Mike said I was to pop in... Peace, Cyn
-
Mike said I was to pop in!
False is simply what false believes
Failing to keep a word
One selfless soul cheats and deceives
Is like a mocking bird
My favorite lines out of the whole poem. Not to say that the rest of ot wasn't good. The whole poem was wonderful. I really enjoyed reading it.
Megan -
I love the imagery in this...
Mike said I was to pop in
-
Mike said I was to pop in and I am so delighted that I did. There is always so much beauty in all that you pen! You have a special gift of touching hearts!!
You are the sweet soul as you always writes from your heart.... as evident in this one!!!
Just beautiful!
I wish you all the best in the contest!!!
Linda
-
Mike said I was to pop in’
-
My dearest this write again being read again brought me to tears - you my dear one have a true Golden heart sharing your completeness and compassion to all whom know you.
Raindrops seep through hollow windows
Dreams come with morning dew
Leaky faucets weep so shallow
Still you remain true blue
Char is truly blessed by those who know her and love her unconditionally. xxx
"Mike said should stop by" love ya bunches xoxoxo
-
Oh hun, your poem is going to touch her heart, I am so sure of it. I really enjoyed this write, as I love all of your pennings. I love ya, my AP Prince...
Much love
Your
Angelic
Love
-
This piece touched me on many levels! Such endearing and VERY true sentiments to hold onto. From start to finish this was intense, and extremely well composed! Excellent piece!
-
A lovely quatrain with good rhyme and meter. I love the image you painted here; the fact that beauty is seen in rain and love will always be there.
Love,
Amera♥
-
Tim,
Have to say this was great, i liked it
very much. i can tell you there sure is a lot of
heart lacking out there. This was informative, honest
and a reality check for those who don't listen or open their eyes.
"But you stay you for you"
Amazing!
Dolores x
-
Precious!!
Powerfully penned Sweet Soul
Beautiful words to provide comfort to the Heart
also the Soul
Thank You for sharing this!!
Best wishes to You in the contest
Many blessings too
and much love~ Desire~*~
-
"Rattling chains, broken hearts crack
A thought thinks you are through
Sweet soul, it's heart he lacks
But you stay you for you"
Beautiful message
-
wow this was just beautifully writen
it brought tears to my eyes
it just expressed everything wonderfully and held so much truth in it
-sighs- it was just wonderful
thankyou so much
-
-
Glad You Enjoyed.
Hang In There My Friend.
-
-
Oh wow this is absolutely wonderful..I adore your words a profound piece im sure this will help...
Peace and love
Best wishes with this entry..
~A~
-
Rattling chains, broken hearts crack A thought thinks you are through Sweet soul,it's heart he lacks But you stay for you...Such beautiful words of comfort with a twist of wisdom...You sure have a magical pen my sweet pet
-
This is so heartfelt and so beautiful. Each and every word is full of compassion. I love the last stanza. Excellent.
-
spot on Bro, spot on. words that should rekindle the fire in this angels heart, and live to be true to herself before others for a change. Excellent my man, exxcellent. now where did I leave my pen?....
-
APPLAUSE!
BUT YOU STAY YOU FOR YOU!
NEVER COULD TRUER WORDS BE PENNED!
-
This indeed was a lovely piece. Thanks you so much for writing such a piece for my loving daughter. She deserves happoness, and if he cant see her for her screw him, she deservesbetter anyway. i am going to see to it.
Loved it hun.
Love and peace always
Tory
Adding your comment:
1 - 49 of 49
