I have to hand it to you honey
You boldy went where no woman
Has ever gone before.
A deep space probe, straight to my heart.
And amidst the worlds colliding,
I never noticed my orbit decaying,
Until you set me adrift
In this outerspiral arm of heartache
How do you fill a void this big?
Believe me, baby, If I had known
How soon you'd go supernova,
I never would've bothered to gravitate
'Cause there are plenty of other stars in this galaxy,
And until science proves otherwise,
Theory says they're all shining for me.
So hold me tight by that asteroid belt,
One last time, starshine.
This terrestrial just doesn't want to break away
From your celestial navigation.
And before you release me,
I just want you to know,
You'll go lightyears
Before you find another Rogue-planet, quite like me.
We're few and far between.
'Cause baby we're extrasolar
And until I met you...
That meant hard to get.
Author notes
meant to be option 2, not sure it counts
and yes I know lightyears is a measure of distance, and that's exactly what I meant.
A contest entry
- TONS OF OPTIONS!!! Please enter and give it a try, I want a lot more entries! by perfectsunset.
450 points, ended September 7, 2007, 63 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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this was beautiful, interesting and very well written Lol. I loved it! It's not like some of the really soppy love poems that people write these days (including me it's really good. I think it's awesome and you sure are a talented writer. I don't even have a favourite part in your poem it's that good!
good luck in the contest
Sleep-N
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oh and by the way.... I try not to quote stuff overly much because I mean.. you know what you wrote.. but I had to use that line.. or my joke would have been lost in deep space.... Yay for American History X tonight!!!
J~~~ -
haahaahaa!! I loved it! ZOMG! When you first started I was like... NOOOO! Don't let her put it up your butt!!! and then... I kept reading... ::coughs:: Heehee... hold tight by that astroid belt! muahahaha! I always do... But I didn't realize the astroid belt wrapped around a white dwarf.... wait... oh god! That was mean.. ::cries (but is really laughing):: I mean.. wait... crap.. ::Eyes shift left to right and then runs away::
J~~ -
Beautiful imagery, metaphor, characterization- everything! As always
"And amidst the worlds colliding,
I never noticed my orbit decaying..."
"'Cause there are plenty of other stars in this galaxy,
And until science proves otherwise,
Theory says they're all shining for me."
"So hold me tight by that asteroid belt,
One last time, starshine."
Just some of my fav lines...
♥elizabeth♥
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PK
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Loved this! This is cool on any planet. This poem should be read aloud while wearing sunglasses, maybe at the planetarium with the galaxy in the background. My favorite parts,
"And amidst the worlds colliding,
I never noticed my orbit decaying,
Until you set me adrift
In this outerspiral arm of heartache"
"Believe me, baby, If I had known
How soon you'd go supernova,
I never would've bothered to gravitate"
"So hold me tight by that asteroid belt,
One last time, starshine."
Great piece, good luck in the contest!
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Awesome! I love outer space, but I've never heard it described like this! A celestial breakup, with attitude ...
"Believe me, baby, If I had known
How soon you'd go supernova,
I never would've bothered to gravitate
'Cause there are plenty of other stars in this galaxy,
And until science proves otherwise,
Theory says they're all shining for me."
Nailed it again! Good luck in the contest (not that you'll need it)!
...JB
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Wow, I don't even know what to say to this one. This was a brilliant write. I love how it's so metaphorical, relating emotions with outerspace and planets. And the ending was perfect with "We're few and far between.
'Cause baby we're extrasolar
And until I met you...
That meant hard to get." This is one I could read over and over again. Great piece! Best of luck and thanks for entering my contest -
Hahahaha. Oh my Good Gawd, man. I just f-ing love this.
I'm obsessed with guys who think they're all that, and those hard to get ones that go after what they want, take, leave, find a girl they can't have and stalk til she falls in love...Classic.
My favorite sort of theme.
But this is definitely unique, and sexy in its own right.
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