I wish I could pick just one instance of physical trauma that has changed my life.
Not sure where to start, so...
An accident, years ago, was left for dead.
Glass shards everywhere, from toes to head.
Some where swallowed internally, others inhaled,
and yet many were on my skin, deeply impaled.
Thrown through the windshield, pavement, meet my face,
skid along the blacktop, 30 feet or so from one place.
Upon the streets I landed, into oncoming lanes,
but for the moment, Lord knows why I never felt the pains.
Never had I felt them, because in that time I had died,
and the "friends" who were with me, ran away to hide.
Medics on the scene thought I was gone for good,
but by the grace of God, He gave me all He could.
The next months were hell, had to learn it all again,
to walk and talk, to eat, and knowing what from when.
Broken jaw and nose, face nearly didn't exist,
but I had this will to fight, I was bound to persist.
My face, they had to reconstruct, now they say it looks fine.
But in my head, the scars remain, etched within my mind.
I sit with changes in me, that you may never see,
but once I tell them of it, it seems they don't see me (not the real one anyway)
Then there's been circumstances, of which I won't speak here,
but against my will, things were done, and now I live in fear.
That left scars as well, some in the mind and some are real,
and once again, I've often thought, of how my soul, they steal.
And disease has played it's evil part, another hell to live.
When people think, I am no more, and can't see all I give.
The scars I've endured from those things, exacerbated now.
Left to wonder why me, can I make it better somehow.
Yet people tell me everyday, they do not see as I.
And still, the treatment shows differently, till I sit and cry.
Perhaps one day, they will see, my heart is human too,
as I pray inside, they all find, the real me I wish they knew.
Author notes
The first part is an accident I was in, that yes, literally left me dead. What was told to me afterwards by medics, I am lucky to be here. My face was completely destroyed with shattered jaw and cheekbones, plus my nose was dislocated to who knows where. It took a lot of corrective procedures before even something remotely close to human was returned to me. There are physical effects left from this that will never go away, they can't.
I've been in abuse situations, that have also left physical scars, not to mention emotional ones. They are ones that, I feel, when explained to people, things are viewed so differently.
And being a diabetic for over 18 years, the physical scars don't heal on me properly, which only adds to the self consciousness of appearance.
This doesn't even include the scars from surgeries not relating to the accident. The only scar I am proud of is that from the birth of my son, and anyone that doesn't like that, can kiss my you know what!
They say actions speak louder than words, and though people may say they don't see the effects brought on to me, their reactions speak differently.
Maybe someday, someone will see what lies inside.
G
In a list
A contest entry
- SELF IMAGE by azlyn.
650 points, ended September 2, 2007, 2 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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I knew you had been through much but I had never known the details before. We are lucky you are here, after being through so much no one could blame you had it made you bitter and secluded, yet you have used these experiences to make yourself compassionate and sensitive to others. You know I have written about how the physical scars I have made me feel and act so you know I understand that feeling in you, don't be ashamed of them; they have shaped you into the beautiful person you are now, without them you may well be a different person.
Good luck in the contest with this well formed and heart-felt write
Adrian
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Thank you Adrian, I appreciate your kind words. Yes, I know you understand a lot of this.
Storm
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you have a very beautiful heart, and it shows in your work. If only more people could look beyond the scars, and see the real person, I think they would truely be amazed.
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Thank you, I appreciate your words.
Storm
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I know the person behind your words, and understand what created the feelings behind them. I can relate so well. People get so wrapped up on what is seen with their eyes and nothing beyond that. They are missing so much. But that is their failure. Their short-sightedness. Whatever doesn't kill us makes us strong, and YOU are the living example of that. You are one of the more incredible and inspirational women I know. Awesome write hun. Keep on keeping on!
Good luck in the contest.
Jeannie
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Thank you Jeannie. Yes, most people refuse to look what beyond their eyes see, though there are a few that do. And to those, I am thankful.
I appreciate your words hun.
Storm
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Great
I see you within your words. I usually don't like rhyme but for this I don't believe it would've worked any other way. I can relate to certain parts of your poem. Keep moving forward. It's the only way to go.
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I've had a lot of people tell me my scars "don't matter" to them...as if they are something that can be ignored or forgotten?
Maybe they can forget, but I know I can't. But one person told me he thought they were beautiful because it is only because of them that I'm alive today. 
Now that made me feel good! This is a wonderful poem, filled with courage and strength and character. You've overcome so much that few others will ever be able to understand. I hope you are able to find people who don't just look past the scars you have, but see them and accept them as a part of what makes you the beautiful person you've become despite everything. Bravo on an awesome write and good luck in the contest.
Best wishes,
~J.
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Thank you. I really appreciate the words you've written here, they will help me in many ways. Thank you also for the encouragement.
Storm
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This has to be so hard to deal with, those scars within and without, awe sis, I feel so bad a sweet soul such as yourself has endured so much. I hope you know I think you are special, and I'm usually right about everything being a guy and all..LOL..
Love ya hun, smiles..
Bro -Timothy aka poeticweaver
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Thank you hun, I appreciate it.
And yeah, you being a guy just makes it all right, thanks for the laugh. LOL.
Storm
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If this was the only entry in this contest...I would be blessed if only to have shared your story. You are a very beautiful woman...and I can tell by your words that your heart is lovely as well. I thank you so deeply for sharing this write and your feelings. My little brother was in such a car accident, awful to recover from. Darling you are a very lovely lady and I am proud of your honesty and you will find that there are a lot of people in this life who are not superficial and shallow...you really will...I finally did! Thanks for the entry, you made my night!
Peace~
Az
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Thank you. Your words truly help. I know these people are out there, just to find more of them.
Storm
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