The rushing of streams,
What wonderful music plays:
By my ears I drowned.
-+-+-+-+-
The mountain was asked
To move, but said, proudly, "No."
But quakes can persuade.
-+-+-+-+-
How useful these trees,
Their fires keep me warm at night;--
I have lung cancer.
Author notes
Written September 18th, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- Haiku Haiku Haiku by braincake.
250 points, ended September 21, 2003, 21 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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The beautiful and the ugly = some kind of perfection.
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Excellent write!
Wonderful trilogy of haikus with vivid imageries! I enjoyed the light-heartedness of the first haiku. The rushing of streams is indeed music to the ears! My favourite haiku here is the second one. I just love L3 in the second 'ku. It really brought a smile to my face. Earthquakes indeed can move the mighty mountains! The last line of the last haiku was a sad shocking end to these nice haikus. It made me feel sad and think for a very long time. I hope it is only imagination and not reality. If it is reality, you know I am thinking of you. In all the haikus, the first 2 lines go beautifully hand-in-hand and the last line, which reveals the situation in the first two lines, does so amazingly! Congratulations on your BRONZE TROPHY! Well deserved.
-Charishma -
The last one made me giggle. I know I'm prolly deranged and insensitive but I still think its hilarious.
By and By
Evy -
AP.... 
i never knew u were a little haiku master. 
... awesome write... roll eyes and u called mine beautiful. urs is way better than mine 
keep it up
Love
Maleen -
Your haikus were fun to read, I love them. CONGRATULATIONS on your win!
Peace
~poetryality~
P.S. Ever noticed how haikus get very brief comments. lol -
Good haikus. The first one was my personal favorite. The whole idea of it was just awesome. Congratulations on your third place. You deserved it.
Jessica -
Wonderful sense of irony, as expressed in all three pieces. I loved the first haiku best, but all three were exhilarating. Thank-you for following the rules of the contest, and thanks for entering. I look forward to reading more of your work (once I am done commenting on all these poems!!) Keep up the good work!
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Well, the third line on the last haiku certainly had that "whoa- bang" effect that makes you think afterwards. I hope I am making sense. Either way, thanks for sharing.
-butterflyflight -
Oh, being a Haiku lover these are a joy to read!! Wonderfully done, I especially like the first one.
How useful these trees,
Their fires keep me warm at night;--
I have lung cancer.
This one is really sad, I have a lung disease that is known to end up with cancer as well.
Red -
WOW!!! The unneccessary line, for you, in this poem is very important...it's pretty bold!!! (Referring to the last line of the last stanza) You have some unbelievable talent!!!! Keep writing and thanx always!!!
--"Kate-the-Shrew" -
These are fantastic ! I, personally hear the word "haiku" and run for my life... ( i'm always too wordy... lol ) but i have a great appreciation for those poet's who write them well, and you do... you definately do :-)
Good luck in the contest,
~ Wendy -
I like the second one too. It is superbly crafted.
krishna -
i liked that second haiku a lot - very nice conclusion
Edited on Sep 18, 1:25 p.m. because '"there's no such thing as a haiky!!"'.
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