Blinding white and beautiful, intertwined
You bring out goosebumps with each flutter of a touch,
feel your breath upon my lips from our lungs that learnt to breathe as one,
desire to delirium,
fighting for expression of pure and simple longing.
Forbidden fruit and passion long prohibited,
we snatch our sacred moments,
savoured in the seconds before sunrise.
You place your cheek on mine
and coax a sigh,
from my
gently
parted lips
still we rise and fall together, your body printing patterns in the sand
*who needs to build a castle when you already have your prince?*
Author notes
one of my first attempts at something like this, and certainly my first in a while :-) a beautiful picture
x-o-x
A contest entry
- Delightful Tummy Tickler. by delightfulmess.
450 points, ended September 3, 2007, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Round 1 - Prewrites by xTomorrowx.
450 points, ended November 5, 2007, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love - almost any thing goes by Mujina.
450 points, ended February 12, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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i had to come back for a second read of this wonderful poem
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thank you very much
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wow..to me this is one of the nicest poems you have ever written, soft and sensual and a delight to the senses..wow i havent read your work for a while for i have been absent then i come back and you amaze me with this ..wow!
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This is very good, it has been awhile and for that I am sorry. So glad I stopped in, and hello. Hope you are well.
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interesting beyond belief
its so abstract and yet its not too overpowering to the effect that a meaning can be extracted. thank you for this write lucy -
Beautifully intimate and romantic, a sensual aura makes this special, i love it !
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You Done an absolute amazing job little lady, for your first try this was a beautiful write I liked the end best who need a castle when you have already found your prince makes a lot of sense, I will be reading more of your works now I am back from my poetry break. Hope all is well with you and keep up the beautiful writing.
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*who needs to build a castle when you already have your prince?*
SO true... I have found my prince but the question is has he found his princess. this poem is filled with much emotion but with the perfect level of control... Thank you for entering. -
Oh I loved this, really made my tummy flutter. Oh love that feeling This was a delight from beginning to end. The flow was soft and sweet, and the wording beautiful. Don't we all wish to have our Prince through and through. Life however you look at it does not normally work like this, but thats ok for when it does it is even more beautiful, well done.
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This was a beautiful write, I loved it soo much as I was reading it, then I looked at the picture in the contest that had inspired it and I realised what an excellent job you had done on writing for the picture prompt...
Thanks so much for entering this beautiful write and good luck! =)
Preliminary finalist =) -
Beautiful Imagery
You place your cheek on mine
and coax a sigh,
from my
gently
parted lips
In those lines, I could see what was happening and it was something that was beautiful. I could envision a young couple by the beach swearing their love for each other and walking hand in hand down the shore with the sunset off in the distance. Beautiful Imagery hun. keep writing
-Danielle-
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Sensitive work with nice imagery and real life passion without goingn over the top. Thanks for the read
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This is a beautiful example of how intimacy between two people should be... wonderfuly penned here
Thank you for taking the time to enter your favourite prewrite in this contest, I wish you the very best of luck
Karen -
Nice imagery! I like your use of wording too. A little Rough in sequence but Wonderfully Written. Keep writing and Good Write
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shiny provacative
I liked this and how it never directly referenced any *ergahmergeh heh cough* action.
greatly done
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Back on form!
Such a beautiful piece you have penned here.
Seems like your muse has returned and you are once again in fine form.
Very well done for this one.
It's a great read.
Best of luck in the contest.
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written with a true heart -- mmm i so wish I was with my prince but no such luck xx many blessings xx
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Such a beautiful and romantic write. So full of love for each other. Wonderful imagery throughout. I so enjoyed reading. Keep up the amazing writing. Good luck in the contest
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I love this poem, it is so beautiful. As for a title, I have a few ideas, but nothing very good, In the Seconds Before Sunrise, Patterns in The Sand
wonderful write.
*peace* -
I thought this was a stunning romantic piece.
Well done really enjoyed this.
Great job and thank you so much for entering.
Since you say you may edit. just so you know I always review poems again before I make my final judgement.
delila
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I enjoyed this it was very nice, and beautiful. Good job.
Hmm.... A new title? Welp I'm kinda drawing a blank here but how about Feather Touch? I dont know, the first couple of lines just make me think of that.
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