One Lonely Teddy
How long must I wait for a buyer to come?
I’m cute, so cuddly, and oh lots of fun,
why don’t you see me sitting alone?
please someone buy me, give me a home.
I’ve sat here waiting for such a long time,
have I been naughty or committed a crime?
look there’s a child she seems really nice
where’s the shop keeper to give her the price.
I think she would love me, and I love her too
she’s seen me, tell Mummy, she’ll buy me for you,
together we two could do so many things
hold tea parties, dances, such joy sharing brings.
Inside me my voice box can growl very loud
with my teddy bear roar you’d be really proud,
at night I can sleep beside you in your bed
keeping you safe, from the dark night ahead.
Please tell your Mummy I’m waiting inside,
if I was your teddy I’d have so much pride,
then from this window my life it would end
for you’d be my owner, my very best friend.
All rights reserved © 2007
A contest entry
- TEN THOUSAND POINTS OF RHYME! (now 12,000) - Part 2 Children's by cricketjeff.
1000 points, ended December 12, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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anks a lot for your entry, been a really good round and all of the finallists were in with a real shout at the prizes.
Please come back and try again in the later rounds!
This was so close to getting another HM but the job is to judge so you have to stop somewhere.
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This is cute my son has a teddy bear but it dosn't make noise he loves it to death Good luck with this great poem in the contest
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Awwww!
So sweet!
It gave me fuzzy feelings right down to my feet
I'd love to buy this teddy, I sure do love bears
Tell the teddy to not be sad, becase somebody cares!
=] Love this write
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I love the rhyme, smooth and very flowing, easily carries the reader from one line to the next, and brings this teddy to life. Great pic. Well done!
Blessing and Good Luck
in the Contest,
Sincerely,
Sassy
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Very cute, I really liked this.
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Don't cry dearest Teddy, just wait and you'll see
Somebody will buy you, then give you to me
I'll hold you so tightly and whisper your name
Then you and I Teddy, we'll play a new game
This Christmas is special, I know it is true
For only this person will belong to you,
Ros
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i agree with the last person, awww, sometimes we all feel a little lonely but i think none have felt as lonely as your little bear, i really like this poem it shows a lot and is extremely discriptive which i like in a poem. I can see the teddy bear in my head as you have really painted a picture with this poem
i really like:
I've been waiting here for such a long time
have i been naughty or commited a crime?
look there's a child she seems really nice
where's the shop keeper to give her a price
i think this the first oart shows the self doubt of the bear that we all feel inside ourselves sometime and the last part really shows the desperation of love that this teddy bear wants and that this little girl can help him achieve what he wants, i love it, please write more like it -
Awwww, how very sweet and heartfelt. You've managed to draw your avid readers in with the life of an object with great precision and imagery. Wonderful writing as this was very creative. Keep penning dear!
~Mstrss" -
Please tell your Mummy I’m waiting inside,
if I was your teddy I’d have so much pride,
then from this window my life it would end
for you’d be my owner, my very best friend.
I want the teddy! This has such emotion. You gave the teddy depth! -
This was in interesting piece. I can see you really dug deep for this write. It read very well and your message is loud and clear.
Well done.
Keep up the good work
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Wonderful.Love your teddybear view.Such great rhyming and flowing from one line to the next.This teddybear has a need as I think you will find you will always find the need to express yourself in words and to express your opinions on others views.You are very gifted.Love your work.
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Can I have him please?
A lovely little smasher-great stuff.xx
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Lovely rhyme and lovely story. Thank you for entering.
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I've seen some "cute" poems on this site but I don't think a single one of them has been as cute as this one. This teddy deserves a good loving home and if I saw him in a window pleading for a home, I'd buy him for sure, and I'm not a lover of teddies lol. The strange thing with them is the uglier they are the more I like them so I think this one will be going home with the little girl The ryhme and flow of this poem is every bit as endearing as the teddy. It's an excellent poem. Well done
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This was cute, I think you did a good job writing it. Good luck in the contest.
~~Tori~~ -
awwwwww, this is so sweet....You really should do more children's poems. You are so good at them....Amazing work here and flawless rhyme and flow...
Lynda
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Awww. This is so sweet. Oh my Great Job.
Wonderful WoW I sure have missed you. Been awhile
Good luck in the contest sweetie.
delila
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Awwwww I really like this poem it is very sweet indeed. I hope someone buys this cute teddy in the window.Thanks for sharing and goodluck in the contest xxx Bwat Wishes.
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