Better Than Chocolate
everyone has their reason to love,
you dear, love me for i am your thoughts
and dreams reincarnated.
i fill you with the sense of ecstasy
you get from entering a world
you were taught taboo.
your skin becomes wet
when carried by the scent of my laughter,
it is carefree in an imbecile way.
the mouth can lie so much
but our eyes carry the truth.
i play black and white movies
of men in trenches
drenched in terror
fists closing in pain
while teeth clench
like sliced skin
covered in mustard gas.
you can see thick beige smoke
sucked into my veins
through old needles.
watch the little girl sitting in my gaze,
she holds a bouquet of white roses.
see the pupils?
there:
behind the thorn patches of red veins.
do you still love me
when you look at me this closely?
haven't you heard
this is better than chocolate.
i feel you wherever you are,
the same as the guitar strings
which slip under your warm fingers
or the sheets that gently caress
every curve of your soft skin.
i live like the snowflake;
without visible change
from begining to end.
i will never change for you
dear
because i will sink with your past
with the same ease as your dolls
and tea set.
i am sorry,
but even the finest chocolates
melt with time.
Author notes
for muffin
A contest entry
- 100th Contest ....for my Favorites by MuddyKing.
10000 points, ended September 23, 2007, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Better than chocolate, melted or otherwise, indeed. Certainly better than that barbaric facsimile Hershey's Syrup. Beautifully and intelligently written. Lovely dark symmetry of word pictures reinforced by picturesque simile and metaphor. Loverly write. I am so glad my friend Wildequil said to check out your work. Well worth following the link.
jill
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Thank you ma'am.
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well Darcy nailed it...average is something that doesn't become you...you are far beyond your years in insight and simply... life
many published authors wish they were this good..lol
I love the whole of it...the 3rd stanza and the thench, drench, and clench was powerful
be honest..are you Darcy's child
I see her influence in you
and an excellent one she is.
I love the whole of it
contender
Peace and hugs
Muddy
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I enjoyed this a lot and cannot help but think of the foreign movie chocolate reading this... the story is so similar a bit in its personal reflection of ugly/beauty without the war involved lol... how she saw him even though a role reversal here...
there were so many areas that hit me personally as well.
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"your skin becomes wet
when carried by the scent of my laughter,
it is carefree in an imbecile way.
the mouth can lie so much
but our eyes carry the truth."
Divine use of language within these lines. Muddy will be ever so pleased. 
Chocolate melts??? Hellifino. It never sticks around long enough to find out. 
One of my favorite bumperstickers: "Just hand over the chocolate and no one will get hurt." 
Grand penning, Poet. Good luck in Richard's contest. Wanda
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An excellent read!
The bittersweet end was perfect. Just a great read from start to finish.
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Sumptuous write, the chocolate at once sweet and satisfying, then sticking to the jaws and teeth, hard to shift...
Some great wordcraft, and wondeful imagery and flow.
'Specially loved "you can see thick beige smoke
sucked into my veins through old needles." and "i fill you with the sense of ecstasy you get from entering a world you were taught taboo."
Love the 'black and white movies' stanza and the guitar strings slipping under the warm fingers.
As Tom Waits says ( in "Chocolate Jesus" ):
When the weather gets rough
and its whisky in the shade
Best to wrap your saviour up in cellophane
He floats like The Big Muddy, but that's okay
Pour him over icecream for a nice parfait ....
Even when melted, chocolate redeems ...
Best of luck in the contest
PJ
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I really really like chocolate. I mean I could bite your hand off if you had chocolate you didn't want to share. I love chocolate more than... Tori Amos I think. I love it more than my mom. I love it more than many people... everyone really. I think... God is chocolate. Yes omfg yes god is chocolate!!! and I do enjoy sucking on him for a bit and then just biting him ... hell and then the taste. It's so heavenly so I guess... you know... chocolate is god and heaven is its taste, smell, texture and all that goes with it. Oh... btw... extraordinary poem. Good thing it's not called Vaseline for real though. About jergens hand cream.... "haven't you heard this is better than Vaseline." MUCHO PHILIAIAIAIAI!
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lmao! you retard
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Cool,creative imagery...
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Wow ... yeah this is brilliant ... but there ain't nothin' better than chocolate (even melted ... even green with mold)
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lol! yummmm green mold... thank you
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refreshingly original!
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do you still love me
when you look at me this closely?
haven't you heard
this is better than chocolate.
I'd call this bittersweet mini chocolate chips coated in cyanide...y'know...just to give it that extra KICK in the solar plexus. Actually to be honest, I hate what I'm reading here, even though it's tinged with your usual brillant wording and emotional pazzazz. I think it's wrong that someone of your age should write so well of things that should be probably best be left alone. But then again, you've never been normal and you've never really been young.
And you'll never be average.
Goddess help you for that...
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i say this guy get punched in the plexus the other day cos we got him to believe he'd be more stoned. never laughed at a mother fucker so bad. thank you ma'am
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I luv this
This poem really stands out from the norm! Vivid imagery and eye-catching phrases....that please the mind. Good luck in your contest! & take care.
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