I came to wash away my woe
in the grand and glorious Ganges
your wise and wizened eyes
beheld me, held me transfixed
betwixt my anguish and your calm
The balm of cooling currents
easing dark, troubled spirit
soothing dried, tired skin
a kinship unforeseen, furnished
from burnished ivory, liquid gaze
The ways of Gods are mystery
our histories for centuries entwined -
I find soft succour in your presence,
your essence nourishing, uplifting
No longer drifting; I am cleansed.
In a list
A contest entry
- Give me what you got...4 by Luckintheshadows.
470 points, ended September 3, 2008, 24 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - frayed by usually-untitled.
450 points, ended September 22, 2008, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - BATTLE OF THE GOLD SHORTS 1 by Swan song.
2000 points, ended October 18, 2008, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me anything! by ASmileForYou.
560 points, ended December 16, 2008, 138 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Whispers of the Muse by SubKitten.
3045 points, ended May 19, 156 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites(: by ladybug..
625 points, ended July 29, 103 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - What haven't I read yet? by Antebellum.
500 points, ended August 4, 82 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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stunning imagery, fantastic flow.
beautifully written
thanks for entering.
good luck -
Wonderful flow and imagery in this piece. The partially internal rhyme was very effective and added to the piece quite a bit. Very beautiful piece overall, and it leaves the reader thinking, which is a great touch.
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Wow, this is truly beautiful. It flows so well and is so soothing to read. Thanks for entering and good luck!
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This is a wonderful poem Very well composed
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ohhh!
beautiful! i love your imagery, and this poem flows perfectly when read aloud.
thanks for entering by the way.
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Fantastic. I absolutly love your choice of words. Very well done,
thank you for entering and good luck.
Dani. -
i like this piece as it is really very soothing, much as the contest wants. Your choice of wording is perfect and adds grace to the write. realy enjoyed this.
good luck in the contest
HG XX -
This is beautiful, such a wonderfully soothing emotion flows from your words. Simple, profound imagery graces this poem, and my soul is filled with warmth reading this, from start to finish everything moves so effortlessly! Thank you so much for sharing this, and taking the time to enter my contest,
Luck. -
The resonance in your poetry is most soothing, and lends to the ear the music of a lyre. This is eloquently written, and gives an inspirational message to the reader. I wish you the very best in this Round. An exceptional work of art poet.
Much Love & Respect ♥
Renee
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I love the use of assonance
and the very near rhymes throughout this piece... the wording, as well, is wonderful and the imagery very vivid... a very unique kind of haunting and hypnotic flow you've managed to give to this piece... a very spectacular effect...
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Love the alliteration and rhyme. All sound natural and unforced. The imagery vivid, calming, and intriguing. The mystical element is understated to great effect in drawing the reader into the poem.
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For the reader the litmus test of this poetry is the words themselves portray imagery and emotion with poetic devices that are so naturally woven they are not stilted or forced but roll off of the tongue,the poem stands alone without the picture yet paints the picture to perfection.The elements and the elemental are woven and wend their way with a spirituality felt.The inclusion of the word "betwixt" often stands out within a poem for 'tis one of those words used within poetry but rarely as spoken word,herein it works superbly with the internal rhyme of transfixed/betwixt and is at home within the building that has become holy and uplifting.The poet has chosen the right user name,the poem has both lilt and rhyme intrinsically wended within,it meanders akin to a soothing stream and comes to rest at a place of blissful consciousness upon being cleansed.Kudos.
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wonderful internal rhyme- beautiful piece
m
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Thank you Mary
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This is wonderfully woven.
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so nice... the meter of lines like:
The ways of Gods are mystery
our histories for centuries entwined -
is just perfect...
wonderful
al
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I like the alliteration in the first stanza.
The rhyme in this is very clever. I love the pattern
of end line to beginning line...It really gives a good rhythm. The internal rhyme as well.
Very soothing, I have a thing for elephants...They are fascinating. I know I would be transfixed. I like this.
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I love this. You caught the spirit of the picture and put it in words. My favorite part was the second stanza
The balm of cooling currents
easing dark, troubled spirit
soothing dried, tired skin
a kinship unforeseen, furnished
from burnished ivory, liquid gaze
Lovely!
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