She left him on the roadside
To traverse the cold
With little more
Than the t-shirt she gave back
So he wrapped himself up in his own arms,
Like a sex-crime victim
Like without his arms his insides might fall out
Though it's not his arms, but dignity
That keeps him from screaming
And he hates the word
"Broken" [Though it fits him]
Because he doesn't know of any super glue that mends hearts
[He'd use it if it would]
And if you asked him, he'd say he's moving on
but an object at rest tends to stay
And if you asked her, she'd tell you
He spent the last three weeks,
writing letters that she will never even open
She already knows how they read,
Just like his eyes that day in the car,
His entire heart poured out in a single glance,
Now imagine that in every word...
She'll never date another poet.
And he prefers the word
"Damaged" [Because it suits him]
His heart just doesn't work the way it used to..
[Every so often it forgets to beat]
And if you asked him, he'd say he's done loving her
but an object at motion tends to stay
And if you asked her, she'd tell you
He's left her a hundred million voicemails
That she will never even check
She already knows how they'll play
Just like his voice that day in the car
His entire existence in a single choking sound
Now imagine that a button push away...
She'll never date another poet.
He, walking, whispers words beneath his breath,
he taps his fingers on stanzas in the air
to a rhythm no one else can hear
And if you asked her, she'd call him crazy, and broken
But he much prefers the words "Artistic" and "Damaged"
And he...
he is an empty shell
And she...
she is already on to her next
hollow point lover
locked and loaded
And he's lost in his tattered notebook,
Wandering through a forest of heart damage
With memory leaves falling all around him
And no matter what paths he chooses
All roads lead to her.
And she's lost in the folds of her sheets
With her newest fuck-puppet,
And he's standing at the top of her highrise,
remembering how in the mornings when he would wake up first,
he would walk to her balcony door and stare out.
And she would wake to his silhouette in the sunlight,
Telling him how she wanted to wake up to his outline everyday...
And he jumped, so that when she walks out onto her balcony
And looks down
She'll have woken up to his outline one more time,
In chalk
The bloodied, tattered notebook in his arms is full of pages that say only one thing.
"I am broken"
She'll never date another poet.
Author notes
Option 2 Heartbreak
"THORN N PEBBLES ROCK"
A contest entry
- [*Broken{♥}&&BleedingArms*] by Logans-Mommy.
600 points, ended September 6, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - LuckyCharms & BrokenHearts by Dead Star--x.
550 points, ended September 6, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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he'd say he's moving on
but an object at rest tends to stay
i like this line a lot & you repeat it a couple of times
i like the oxymoron tone too it.
thanx for entering & good luck
CureMyTragedy♥ -
he'd say he's moving on
but an object at rest tends to stay
i like this line a lot & you repeat it a couple of times
i like the oxymoron tone too it.
thanx for entering & good luck
CureMyTragedy♥ -
so far this is my favorite thing you've written... Morbid huh? But I think it's because it's so complete! I can't find anything that is missing.... It's so sad to... but my favorite part is your comparison of him as an empty shell and that her next lover is a hollow point... what better way to kill you my dear! Loved it!
J~~ -
god this is something i can relate to, so much you dont even know. i love this so much, my god it was perfect, i cant stop reading it over and over i think this is one of the best i have read so far, thank you for much for entering exactly what i asked for, and if this is real, which i believe it sounds like...i am so sorry that that happened to you.
much love
Jen -
Wonderful with "He, walking, whispers words beneath his breath,
he taps his fingers on stanzas in the air
to a rhythm no one else can hear" I absolutely loved that line. Great write!
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I loved the repitions of thoughts and phrases in differing words, it adds so much impact. The way the ideas are all interwoven and shifting is awesome, though at times confusing. I just could not stop reading this one, every line just pushed me on to the next.
And he hates the word
"Broken" [Though it fits him]
And he prefers the word
"Damaged" [Because it suits him]
I loved this.
~elizabeth~
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I worked on this all day at work, Trying to simulate the way I know my thought processes work when I go through something like that. I've never been pushed that far, obviously, but the more I sat there and went back and forth and back and forth between the characters, it became easy to see how someone with a predisposition to being a little off could. The tapping fingers in the air is something I do while I'm writing in my head, so is the self-hug in the event of emotional trauma, so the character's mannerisms are loosely based off of my own. I've never stalked an ex, however.
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I really like the line about wrapping yourself in your own arms like a sex crime victim, it gave a very vivid stark image in my mind- haunting. As i am also fond of the fetal position... Every one says that i type like i am playing the piano b/c it is how i measure the rhythm of my words and phrases, others may laugh but it works for me so i like the idea of "composing to the air" so to say. I really like how you characterized the two people through dialogue and mannerisms, it painted a picture of their interaction seperately and together. I thought it was just a gorgeous piece. Inspiring.
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Gaaaawd. So gorgeous. I have no other words. ♥
We'd write the best damn dirty pretty poem ever in a collaboration.
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i thought it was very well put for something so confusing going through a person's mind (the guy's).
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There are 666 poets on line right now. Think I might leave to change that number. Spooky! Besides that, there is a lunar eclipse starting right now in some areas of the world.
Your poetry always has me ride along for the story. This passage leaped off the page into my psyche;
"she is already on to her next
hollow point lover
locked and loaded"
Brilliant emotions chalked into a work that ends as unpredictably as it began. You have "the gift". Use it or lose it! The best to you in the challenge dear poet and friend.
Much Love & Respect ♥
Renee
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